#im going to kill myself I swear to god. there’s shit I need to buy. what am I supposed to do.
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seilon · 4 months ago
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shouldn’t have checked my bank account as expected my mother has taken thousands more dollars from my savings and has almost run me dry more or less. Cool!
#I’m going to fucking call the bank and ask about a second checking account because she’s never going to make her own fucking account#it’s been like a year since she said she would and it’s just not gonna happen#she owes me thousands of dollars via me paying her fucking overdraft fees and she always says ‘what you think I won’t pay you back?’ no!!!!!#no I don’t!!!!!!! because you literally never have!!!!!!!!!!!#and where the fuck are you going to get like 8000 dollars anyway. because that’s what she owes me at the very least#even if you want to factor in like. paying her monthly for the groceries she buys and cat food and whatever that’s still. thousands of#dollars. and the worst part about it is I just have no safety net anymore#because my savings is basically nothing at this point. like nothing that can help in a dire situation anymore.#I keep thinking about whatever im going to have to end up paying for top surgery and I WOULD have a significant amount saved up to#contribute to that but haha! no I don’t! it’s fucking gone!#and I’ve been getting paid basically fucking nothing lately because of how few hours they’re scheduling me so that does not fucking help#my last paycheck was literally like half of what I should be getting. I made like 1K in the past two paychecks. that’s fucking depressing#anyway I’ve given myself a headache#I’ve been avoiding looking at my bank account because I knew it would be bad and it’d stress me the fuck out but I also have been anxious#not knowing and my mother making a few vague comments that implied she must have fucked me over. so I checked today and yeah she sure did#if I don’t make a new checking account that she can’t access i am actually going to be broke within the nenxt few months at this rate#my head hurts and I am so upset I am so upset I work so fucking hard and it doesn’t even matter i just lose money constantly#I get nothing I just pay her fucking fees and pay for my tuition and pay for everything else of any significance#and I am not exaggerating I work my ass off. I am the only person I know at my job who begs to work holidays and extra days and stay as late#as possible and it . doesn’t even matter#im going to kill myself I swear to god. there’s shit I need to buy. what am I supposed to do.#kibumblabs#vent#like shit I need to buy for WORK. my manager is getting on me about not having proper shoes for example and yeah I can get a discount#through shoes for crews but I still dont have the fucking money for anything anymore#not unless I want to run myself into the fucking ground#I need a new binder badly. I need new black pants also for work since mine are so faded at this point.#I only have one fitted sheet that doesn’t have giant holes in it#I can’t stop thinking about my last paycheck it was literally the worst I’ve seen since starting this job a year ago. fucking infuriating
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krash-and-co · 11 months ago
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haven't done this in a while, so here !! l&co as stuff I've heard/said in the past few months, bc I don't remember exact exchanges before then 👍👍
arguably more unhinged for reasons unknown. fate of Gods favorite clown idk
Lucy: I thought Billie Joe Armstrong went to the moon for a long time, honestly.
~
Lucy: [calling Barnes] there's a stranger at our house. she tried really hard to get in, and--
Lockwood, in the distance: we broke all the stranger danger rules.
Lucy: we broke all the stranger danger rules.
~
Holly: Lockwood, you have the coolest style.
Lockwood: thanks!
Lucy: what?!? she just tells me I look gay.
Lucy: and homeless.
~
holly: I want to help disabled kids ride a tricycle. wait, I meant to say horses.
lockwood: you want to help disabled horses ride a tricycle??????
~
Lucy: I don't have mommy issues I just don't like my mom.
~
Lucy: you gave me a framed photo for my birthday
Lucy: and within thirty minutes you stepped on it.
Lockwood: but then I bought you a new frame!!!
Lucy: and then I opened it, and it looked like you stepped on it.
Lockwood: well I'm not buying you another one.
~
skull: ugh, theyre so obsessed with how they look.
lucy, nodding: yeah, they're all "oh I'm so perfect!" preps. they definitely shave their legs.
~
Lockwood: I need to work on my swearing problem, cuz there are adults around and they don't li-- *drops thermos* ow FUCK
~
Lockwood: shut the windows. shut the fucking windows, I feel like we're being watched.
Lucy: hahaha, this is fucking terrifying.
Lockwood: here are the knives.
Holly: do you have any baseball bats? I don't want to stab people.
George: no, but we have crutches. we can hit people with them.
Holly, nodding: that's good.
~
Lockwood: I'm stupid.
Kipps: no you're not- yes you are. I don't know why I said you're not, so I had to correct myself.
~
holly: if we kill someone, we'll get in.... trouble.
~
George: shit!! I mean fuck!!! I mean crap!!!
Lucy, hitting him repeatedly: stop CURSING YOU FUCKING-- DANG IT!!!!!
~
Holly: do you ever get the urge to be randomly violent, like-
[loud clatter as lockwood and kipps beat each other up in the background]
holly: yeah like that.
~
Kipps, on searching for Bobby: I used to just grab any kid I saw about his height with brown hair, but that caused problems.
~
Lucy: what's your biggest fear?
Lockwood: what? spiders.
Lucy: no the other one
Lockwood: change.
Lucy: no the-- the other one.
George: what do you WANT FROM HIM-
~
lucy: you're going to make me have a gambling addiction.
skull, nodding: that's the idea.
~
George: pff my mom says im special.
Lockwood: im also special! they put me in classes about it.
[Lockwood and George burst out laughing while everyone else stares]
~
[Lucy and George are punching each other, screaming, and spewing out profanity in sign language]
George: literally nobody even looked up
Lucy: we're at the point where it's normal
George: yeah, haha!
Lucy: haha!
[a moment of heavy breathing and grinning before they begin fucking attacking each other again]
~
George, to Lucy: ugh im so sore. why do you keep punching me.
[Lucy punches him]
~
ok last one but this was a hell of a fucking convo and it was so funny everyone just jumped in with random twists 😭😭
[kipps crew, l&co, and flo are all sitting in barnes otherwise empty office]
George: kipps sounds terminally online, but I can't figure out yet if it's the normal kind or if he has. like. a kin list.
Lucy: the two extremes. normal or homestuck.
George: I read all of homestuck but it's okay I'm normal now
skull: im-
lucy: skull YOU'RE terminally online, but like the video gamer kind. kipps sounds like he had a my hero academia phase.
Lockwood: I was friends with someone who would roleplay mha all the time.
George: like pretend to have powers or something?
Lockwood: no, like pretend to be the characters. interact as them.
bobby: I don't roleplay, but I like to imagine I'm a different person with powers sometimes :)
ned: ha, furry.
flo: furry? one of my friends knows a furry who got her tail stolen, and she's in the office right now.
Lockwood: like today??
flo: yeah today. she's there right now.
Lockwood: [silence] oh.
flo: yeah they just. yoink.
[silence]
bobby: .....im not a furry but--
Lucy: aaaand gonna stop you right there before you make things worse for yourself
kat: why can't we EVER have normal conversations
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ins4nebxtch · 4 days ago
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fr ending it all tonight cuz nothing seems worth it anymore like okay if im gonna be very honest i dont even get the point of trying anymore like it really really isnt worth it, the year started out kinda rough but i thought eh itll be fine but then like it went on and on and then it kept going downhill and see atp i still had hope that i could turn things around right but then i really don't think i can fix this like ive been trying for an entire year man idt anything is going to be any different. and before ik i was sorta depressed and shit but atleast i had some sort of energy to keep going but honestly I'm so fucking drained like idt im going to keep going. this anxiety ocd whatever the fuck it is im not self diagnosing cuz thats yucky like these fucking voices are genuinely getting too much, like bro wym smth very bad will happen if i dont leave the door hanging or keep my shoes exactly in a certain way or sit there and recite the number of fucking likes comments and shares on every reel 3 times. not victimizing here or anything but this is like -2 points for me no since i have to go through all this also and niggas who ain't gone thru shit in their life like the worst thing they've "been through" is getting scolded by parents for bad marks or sum get to sit here, fuck me over, laugh about it, spread it around to their friends who haven't gone through shit either js so they can sit here and judge me?? and then judge the way i cope w it too cuz they know whats better for me more than i do?? and dont even give me that oh ydk what others have been through like nigga even if they have 1. they should understand how it is and not pull ts and 2. if theyre going thru smth and this is their coping mechanism or whatever, just because your lire is fucking shitty doesnt give you the right to fuck up mine and laugh ab it. you cant outrun shit in this fucking city everyone knows everyone and apparently they love to make it so well known they dont like me cuz I'm some #1 alcoholic slut who apparently doesnt have a single nice bone in her body. i admit i was shitty like a while back but legit everyone who's sitting here and saying ts about me has done the same and some of these people have done even worse shit yet they face no consequencs and get to judge me?? its absolute bullshit. I've done nothing but sit here and fucking pray for things to get better and actually try to become a better person but im not gonna waste my time anymore if everything remains like this. you have absolutely no idea how much I've prayed to god, literally begging to fix atleast one aspect of my life but to no fucking avail and it's got nun to do w me being a bitch or whatever or oh it's js karma cuz i see niggas who've fucked me over 10 times worse having the time of their fucking life so god has no excuses. it's not even for character development anymore like okay bro ive actually been trying 2 change what more do i need to develop?? all these niggas do is judge judge judge like oh she drinks ew like nigga maybe the reason i do is cuz you or your friends dumbass fucked me over so hard that i wanted to kill myself?? would you rather me write yall fucking names in my suicide note and kms so the whole gang goes to prison?? fucking hell im doing these idiots a favour and they have issue w that also like bro atp id buy a fuck b4 i gave one (in reality i care a lot or i wouldnt be yapping this much) anw im done trying cuz if i suggest trying again im genyinely gonna waste 3 lakhs that my parents spent and theyll probably kill me themselves so i dont think i have any other fucking option anymore cuz im not dealing w all of this again. i swear to god bro if i actually die ive got a few niggas who i want paying the price for whatever bs they pulled or istg im gonna haunt them and pull one conjuring scene. oh and another thing ik they say iF yOu DoNt LiKe YouR LifE tHeN dO sMtH tO FiX iT like nigga past full year what do you think ive been doing like if god has this big issue w me then im also pulling one scene w him im going up there to see what his problem is
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kiegosbby · 4 years ago
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hawks x f!reader
chapter 8 I think. I’m sorry guys itll get better I promiseeee
word count: 1.6k
warnings: drinking, and just making poor decisions
✁- - - - - - r- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
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when you finished your work you left quickly trying to avoid talking to him any further.
You stopped at a liquor store. This wasn't your best idea. But In the moment, you needed it badly.
you never really drank before, not knowing what to buy so you bought vodka. People drink that straight right?
she bought her bottle and put it in a paper bag, having to keep her hero appearance.
she flew home and sat down on her couch. She popped the cap off and chugged it. It burned as it went down. She thought it would be worse it tasted like medicine. Kind of.
She looked across the room and saw her phone. She was now slightly tipsy, she stood up and walked over to her phone. Picking it up it was slightly cracked but it still worked. You turned it on and while you waited, chugged some more because why the hell not?
as your phone turned on you saw all the messages hawks had left you.
10+ plus new messages from: Birdy ❤️🐔
"Tch.."
Birdy ❤️🐔
Hey baby bird I'm sorry about last night I probably seem like a dick.
Birdy ❤️🐔
I had to help endeavour on a case and I couldn't say no. Please let me make it up to you
Birdy ❤️🐔
I still owe you ice cream even if you don't wanna go out anymore
Birdy ❤️🐔
Don't forget that you have to come to my agency tomorrow and fill out some paperwork and set your office up
Birdy ❤️🐔
Angel where are you? Your 10 minutes late
Birdy ❤️🐔
Angel I'm starting to worry it's been a hour. Please just let me know that your ok
Birdy ❤️🐔
Y/n please text me. Im worried and I swear if anything happened to you I'll kill someone
Birdy ❤️🐔
Don't make me go to your apartment. I will don't test me.
Birdy ❤️🐔
angel please reply
Birdy ❤️🐔
Angel? Please..
Birdy ❤️🐔
I'm about to go to your apartment. I don't know which numbers yours but I'll go through the whole building if I have to.
well now you felt like a bitch.
It was still mean for him to do that to her. But maybe she should forgive him. he apologized and he seemed like he actually cared.
You decided to call him and talk to him. Maybe apologize? Ask him what his favourite drink is. Alcohol is good you should do this more often.
you pressed the call button and took a big swig of your drink getting ready to talk.
"Angel hello?"
"Hey hawks" you slurred your words slightly. "I wanted to call you because it's so difficult to type! The buttons are so little and I keep messing up. Now I know what your thinking, she's drunk right? Well no actually I'm just a little tipsy. Oh! I forgot to say what I was calling about. I wanted to apologize, I was being a total bitch don't you think?" You took a quick swig and went back to talking "but you were kinda mean to me. But I liked you! I even bought a fucking dress for you. And I don't do dresses. Believe that? I got all dressed up for you. And you never showed. But hero duties are more important than anything" you took another swig "damn this shit is strong!"
He sat there trying to take in everything she had just said. To be fair it was a lot to handle. " Y/n your drunk why are you drinking?"
"Because why the hell not?" She said and laughed
"You want to apologize I want to apologize to face to face."
"Come over them Birdy I need some company I can't finish this big bottle all by myself." At this point you really couldn't think straight. This was 100% a bad idea but did you care? Absolutely not.
"Y/n your drunk we should talk tomo-"
"No come over nowwww pleaseeeeeeee" you whined
he sighed "Ok leave the balcony open I'll land there."
"Yay! I'll be waiting for you im so excited!"
You quickly hung up and went to wait for him on the balcony. You sat with your legs crossed and kept drinking. You got up and looked over the ledge. Damn that was a farrr drop. You stumbled a little leaning a little to far, and almost fell until you felt a warm pair of hands wrap around your waist. "Are you fucking crazy kid? Do you have a death wish?"
You started laughing "oh my god I almost fell good thing I have wings. You saved me! Your like my knight in shining armor" you smiled and went to take another swig only to have him take it away from you.
He looked at the bottle. "You drank almost half of this already! Are you crazy? Oh my god come on" he lead you inside trying to figure the layout of your house. He went into your kitchen and got you a water bottle from your fridge.
"Here drink this your gonna need it. Let's go sit down ok?" He lead you to the couch, you almost fell a couple times but with his help you made it.
"Hawksssss"
"Yes angel" he looked over to you, you were both now sitting on the couch, and he was trying to make sure you did nothing stupid.
"Thank you for coming I was sooo lonely. And I'm sorry for this morning I was being a big poopy head" you said and at the end you stuck your bottom lip out and gave him puppy eyes.
"It's no problem angel. I would always help a friend in need more matter what. And you don't have to apologize it was mostly my fault I was being a dumb bird and messed it up." He said looking at you with guilt. You felt bad honestly. But what stuck the most was when he said he would always help a friend..
"I wish we were more then friends I really liek you.." you slurred and went on "your really cute to. And your wings are so pretty I just wanna touch them. Can I touch them?" You asked already reaching out to them
"Of course baby bird just be careful you have wings to so you'll know how it feels." He pulled his wings further out so that you could reach them easily. He was a little scared only a few other people had touched his wings. And they had never been drunk before. His wings were quite sensitive, he was touch starved and that made it feel amazing when someone touched his wings.
You leaned in and touched the middle of his wings first, slowly running your hand over them. You face lit up like a kid opening his presents on Christmas. You raked your hands through his feathers.
"Your feathers are so soft! How do you get them so soft!?" You asked excitedly. Your feathers weren't as soft as his, they'd been through a lot and due to some harsh training were trying to recover still.
"There just n-naturally soft I guess are yours not t-this soft?" He asked as he was trying to keep back his groans. Your fingers felt so good rubbing against his feathers.
"They were but after bad training there not as soft anymore. Want to feel?" She asked excitedly, taking her hands away. He tried to hide his disappointment, and shook his head yes.
she pulled her wings out, giving off a soft glow as her quirk made her. He reached out to his hands. He softly touched the tip of her wings. She sat back and relaxed feeling calm at the touches he was giving her. It was way better then the little kids that tugged on her wings when she had them out.
"What kind of training did this? There still soft just seem like they've been through a lot.."
"Well it was a really rainy day. And they were working me so hard. We were in a empty field and I was paired with one of the higher ranks, so I had to try my hardest. They thought I was weak so they pushed me a little to far, until my wings were covered with mud and all the nasty shit on the ground."
He had a apologetic look on his face as he continued to stroke your wings. "Who's they?"
"I-oh I don't really tell many people but when my parents had found out I had wings, they had to report it to the government, who wanted to put me in intense training from when I was just 4. I knew how to kill someone before I knew how to write my own name correctly. I've heard you went through the same if I'm correct?" Y/n was almost surprisingly sober now.
"Yeah it's not something I like to talk about. I'm sorry they put you through that. Me and you are more alike then we seem arnt we?" He asked while taking his hand away from your wings.
you internally sighed in disappointment when he took his hand away. "I guess we might be. C-can we watch a movie or something?" She asked hoping he would stay just a little longer.
"Only if I can still take you to get ice cream soon?" He asked testing the waters to see if she was still mad.
"Of course you bird brain." She grabbed the remote and turned on  {favourite movie}.
"Oh I love this movie!" He said with excitement as he got comfortable next to you.
You smiled looking at him. You were no longer mad but thought if this went on would that happen again? Would he handle it differently? As the thoughts were running through your mind, you felt the heaviness of sleep washing over you. You closed your eyes and let it involve you.
Hawks POV
I turned to check on y/n, and as I turned she was just falling asleep. Her head slowly made its way into my shoulder. I blushed slightly. Y/n was beautiful. Even with her hair a mess she was still pretty to him.
As he was admiring her, she moved in her sleep, grabbing his arm and hugging it as she slept.
'God she's perfect'
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richietoaster · 5 years ago
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The losers as conversations my coworkers and I have had: a collection (PART 1)
(I HAVE BEEN COLLECTING THESE CONVOS FOR MONTHS. ENJOY)
Bill: I u-used to t-talk to th-this girl and e-every morning s-she’d be like “good morning handsome” ugh
Richie: whats the problem? Why did you stop talking to her?
Bill: she w-was t-too nice to me!! Like h-h-holy shit. Roast me. Call me stupid. Just, something!
_________________________
Richie: I’m gonna go fucking batshit crazy I swear to god, Mike
Mike: what happened?
Richie: work. Work happened. I hate this place.
__________________________
Bill: are you t-telling Richie my bathroom s-secrets?
Eddie: no, why would I do that?
Bill: I don’t know..
Eddie: nope haven’t said a word..
Richie: *walks past bill and eddie*
Eddie: hey Richie?
Richie: what’s up?
Eddie: .... BILL USES THE BACK BATHROOM TO POOP
Bill: HEY
Reddie: *high fives*
___________________________
*work Halloween party*
Bill: w-when is Richie coming out of the b-bathroom?
Mike: Eddie is helping him dress as a sexy cat
Richie, from the bathroom: IM NOT PUTTING THE FISHNETS ON
Bev, screaming to Richie: RICHIE DONT BE A BITCH
Richie: FINE
Bev: see all you need is to call a dude a bitch and he’ll do what you want
___________________________
*texting coworker while I’m at walmart*
Eddie: I can’t wait to tell my mom to give me 10 dollars because they only had one option of paper plates and I had to buy her paper plates
Bev: but then she’ll pull the “but I gave you a roof over your head” and “bla bla bla you’re not the perfect son” argument
Eddie: hmm. You’re right. Like sorry I’m gay and depressed
__________________________
*after a busy morning*
Richie: ok I’m going on break.
Stan: don’t go too far in case I decide to stab myself in the head
___________________________
*talking about a double date*
Richie: me and eds are goin to a restaurant tonight with his friend, you wanna come?
Bev: is said friend cute?
Richie: yeah I think so
Bev: ayeee is he single?
Richie: no, hes married. Ayeee
___________________________
Richie: I got yelled at by Greta
Bev: what did you do?
Richie: I was in the bathroom taking a shit and apparently I took too long and she got mad
Bev: how long were you in the bathroom for?
Richie: not even 10 minutes. Next time I’ll fuckin shit on the floor
___________________________
Eddie: this place is gonna kill me before corona does
Bev: what if work is just a virus
Bill: as a supervisor here I can confirm
___________________________
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not-dyin-til-im-skinny · 3 years ago
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i hate myself so much. i hate how i look. why am i so big. why do i look different in photos than in the mirror. which one of them is lying and which one is showing me the truth? why cant i just starve to death, become bones on a couch. i dont wanna live. im thinking of hanging myself. i need to kill myself. either this, or cutting myself. i dont wanna look how i look rn. i dont like it. i hate it. im the ugliest person in the world. im a fat cow. i hate myself. i hate my fat thighs. i hate my fat arms. i hate my fat stomach. i hate my face. i hate my hair. i hate my femininity. i hate how small my hands and feet are compared to my legs and arms. i hate everything about my body. i want to cover up my whole body with deep red bloody cuts. i want to live in baggy clothes. i want to live alone. i want to eat however the fuck i want, without thinking “oh, i should eat a little bit more so that when i leave the kitchen, mom and dad wont be mad at me for eating too little”. i just wanna be dangerously skinny. i want my legs to be stick thin. i want to look scary. i wish i didnt love food as much as i do. i wish i didnt feel the need to eat before physical activity. why cant i look as skinny as all the girls i see? its not photoshop btw. i want to cry so bad. im so ugly. i wanna kill myself. im not gonna make it to 2022. i wont. i have to die before that. i cant believe how fat i am. i am disappointed in myself. i have already attempted suicide 4 times now. why didnt i succeed at the first try? i wouldnt be here. i would have missed so much pain. i have to kill myself. i just have to. but eventually it will happen. EVENTUALLY. it IS going to happen. i’ll erase the biggest mistake from this world. you wont even notice anyway, tho. because i always stay still. and go unnoticed. if i talk about my problems and cry waterfalls, im still not getting taken seriously. what do i have to do to be skinny? I WANNA BE SKINNY. ITS THE ONLY THING I WANT RIGHT NOW. IM FUCKING KILLING MYSELF. IM GOING TO FIND ALL THE BLADES I BOUGHT AGAIN AND IM GOING TO CUT THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF MY DISGUSTING FATASS BODY. AND I SWEAR TO GOD ILL KEEPING BUYING BLADES UNTIL MY PARENTS WONT HAVE SPACE ANYMORE TO HIDE THEM!
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ajokeformur-ray · 4 years ago
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I watched Joker tonight and typed out my thoughts as they occurred to me. Unedited; typos are guaranteed. I did this a few months ago and really enjoyed looking back at my thought process and I wanted to do it again so that I can look back and know that what I feel is real and true in my darkest times.
You're welcome to skip this; it's under a cut for ease of doing so. Warnings for occasional sexual comment lmao. There’s no self shipping in this, I don’t think.
word count: 2, 575.
I’M SOBBING and I’ve only just pressed play.
Heart squeeze Chest much ow
THERE HE IS
✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨
Nooooo baby omg don’t pretend - let yourself hurt if it hurts. Don’t pretend. 
Carnival Carnival Carnivalllllllll 😍😍😍😍😍
I am a Simp for one clown and his name is Carnival
Someone help him, I????
That sign hit Arthur as hard as my love for him did ksksksk
MY EYES BE LEAKIN💔💔💔💔💔
bb nooooo
Oh honey let me kiss those bruises and replace the marks of violence with love, hm? You’re safe with me.
Breathe, my love. Don’t fight the laughter. Let it out, let yourself go. 
Screams into a pillow because????? much sad must kiss
“have you been keeping up with your journal?” LIKE HE HAS TIME
oHHHHH boi’s close to losing his shit
Do it, Artie. Give ‘em hell.
“I think I did” YOU TELL HER!!💖💖💖
I want to be his cigarette. Where’s Satan??? I got a new deal for my blackened soul which he took at half price😂😂😂😂
I’d have my hand between the door and his head so fuckin fast I swear
“I just don’t wanna feel so bad anymore” yep SAME
ohhhh peekaboo🥺🥺🥺
this makes me giggle ksksksk i watch this scene when i feel sad bc it always makes me happy for the time it’s on
he’s so good with kids; he doesn’t have to try and think about what’s funny, he just does it, he’s himself and it works
FUCK OFF LADY CAN’T YOU SEE HE’S STRUGGLING????
give
him
back
his
card
casually wrinkling my nose against tears lmao
ohhh the way he looks up at those stairs from the bottom
i can feel his exhaustion
me too, my love
step step step step
god i wanna get him the fuck outta gotham
and into my arms and a soft, warm blanket
“eat. you need to eat” LITERALLY WHAT I TELL MYSELF EVERY DAY IN HIS VOICE BC OTHERWISE I JUST WOULDNT EAT???? I’m losing so much weight asdfghjk its not enough tho
SUPAH RATS
Did Arthur come up w that joke or was it actually a Murray joke????
HIS VOICE IS SO SOFT IM CRY??🥺🥺🥺🥺
“I WAS PUT HERE TO SPREAD JOY AND LAUGHTER”
YOU DO BABY, YOU DO!!!! EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!!
go deepthroat a cactus randall - youre already a bit of a prick so🙃🙃🙃
“THE GUYS THINNK YOU’RE A FREAK BUT I LIKE YOU”
HOYT. YOU CAN GO SIT ON A CACTUS TOO
FUCK OFF
😡😡😡😡
“WHY WOULD ANYONE STEAL A SIGN”//”WHY DOES ANYONE DO ANYTIHNG?” HOYT YOU’RE SO FUCKING ILLOGICAL HERE IM????? ERIKA DOES NOT (ALSO WILL NOT LMAO IM A STUBBORN BIITCH) COMPUTE
Can arthur fuck me like he pounds the trash/????🥵🥵👀
those dark curls.... that crooked tooth... must kiss.🥺🥺🥺
pennys casual cruelty makes me so fucking angry
foreshadowingggggg ~  *JAZZ HANDS*
ugh the way he dances with that gun im👀🥵🥵🥵
he enjoys the power of it and his breathing gets deeper asdfghjk
clumsy baby omggggg i just COOED 🥺🥺🥺🥺
okay maybe im stupid but i genuinely dont understand this “senior who needs to graduate” skit i’m??? how is being an intro to western civ student funny im???? someone explain???
but also dont bc fuck that guy lmao arthur’s hilarious
true millenial humour (and brit humour lmao we’re dark asf)
THE WAY ARTIE TWIRLS HIS FINGERS AROUND HIS HAIR AND DANCES IN HIS SEAT IM???🥺🥺🥺
wanna curl up on his lap at night when hes writing and go to sleep with a 
blanket around our bodies🥺🥺🥺🥺
when arthur wears a shirt at home you KNOW it’s a daydream
THAT CROOKED TOOTH IM WANT KISS.
WAIT IS IT CALLED STAND UP COMEDY BC YOU STAND UP... AND ITS COMEDY???
23 FUCKING YEARS, PEOPLE... TO REALISE THAT🙄
WHEN CARNIVAL CAME ON SCREEN I NTHE HOSPITAL I MADE A PORNOGRAPHIC NOISE LMAO I LOVE HIM SO MUCH
IF YOURE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT, SHOOT MURRAY
WOOPS WRONG LYRICS
😂
“doctor of laughter”🥺🥺🥺🥺
doctor i have a case of the Big Sad can you... do an exam? 😉😏
NO BB DONT BEAT YOUR HEAD UP THERES PRECIOUS CARGO IN THERE
in what world does chucking cold greasy chips in a girls hair being “nice”???
lmao fuck these guys
ohhh honey breathe. dont fight it, my love, just breathe.
my heart’s breaking for you, you sweet thing🥺🥺🥺
i love you so so so so so so so much ugh you’re an actual fucking angel
just breathe darling
i need to get you a cup of tea with honey in it, your throat must be so sore
ohhhh baby im so sorry
i’d take every single punch if i could
i’d die for you
i wish i could protect you
i wish i could look after you
and take all those hits
and kill those guys for you
im so sorry
sobbingggg
YES GOOD MAN THANK YOUUU
KILL THOSE ASSHOLES LMAO DESERVED IT
yeah i have a grey morality... im similar to deadpool in that way tbh
carnival comin’ to kill your insecurities
8 bullets in a 6 chamber???? mm-hm
DONT FORGET YOUR BAG THATS EVIDENCE
AND THE WIG
RUN BABY RUNNNNNNN
GO GO GO GOOOOOOOOOOOO
RUN LIKE THE WIND BULLSEYE
THE SOUND OF HIS FEET SLAPPING THE PAVEMENT IM👀
OOOOOH JOKER’S WAKIN’ UUUUUUP
fuck he’s so hypnotic
the way he runs his hand down his lower stomach asdfghj🥵
must kiss the inner tendons on his wrists and lick the blood off his face 
must kiss
he moves like water
fuck hes so fluid
bathroom scene = the scene in which my heart and vagina clench at the same time
im WANT
T POSEEEEEEEE
“i still owe you for that, dont i?”
PUNCH OUT IS MY FAVOURITE THING E  V  E  R
D O N T S M I LE
UGH I FUCKING HATE being told to smile if i don’t fucking want to so BIG mood
PLEASE SHUSH ME THE WAY YOU JUST SHUSHED PENNY IM???
but also dont lmao bc i’ll think you’re mad at me and i’ll hide in the bedroom for the rest of the day lmao i’m sensitive✨✨✨
i wanna sit on his lap and still his bouncing knees
“thats not funny”
fuck off penny yes it is
I JUST CHOKED ON MY COFFEE IM???
“but i do” god the  P O W E R
ugh that fucking sexist piece of shit comedian can choke “women look at sex like buying a car” 🤢🤮🤢🤢🤮
chauvinistic pigs can die thanks
his lil trip upstage im cry🥺🥺🥺
ohhh baby. just breathe, darling. it’s okay to be scared. dont fight it. just breathe. 
he and i both cover our mouths when we laugh/smile in the exact same way and it makes me feel closer to him
how can they think hes laughing at himself when hes literally gagging????
people only see what they wanna
the Penny imitation is👌👌👌
s m i l e
i remember when i came home from seeing this for the first time, i got home and dropped to my knees to cry in the bathroom. it was such an emotional release and so much love and i played smile to try to make myself smile but i only made myself cry harder lmaooooo ~ 
smile and thats life are my go-to songs if i gotta cheer tf up
danger sign = neither works
he looks so soft after his “date”🥺🥺🥺
“thats life” yeah but murray you dont even leave the studio so how do you know????
ngl arthur’s anger scares me.
anyone so much as raise their voice at me and i’ll cry really bad and i will shut myself away for the rest of the day and quiet anger terrifies me so his banging abt in the kitchen would freak me tf out😲
angry bb😭
he controls his anger so fast though omgggg ~ 
that soft please sends me
idk where it sends me lmao
down below probably
BARE FACED CARNIVAL OMG THIS SCENE IS SO CUTE
I LOVE THE MATCHING COLOURS ON ARTHUR AND BRUCE TOO ???
okay but the implication that arthur always carries a clown nose on him is🥺🥺🥺
hes such a good clown im?????
lmao im enjoying the show more than bruce is skskskk
arthur’s lil chuckle makes me🥺
his HUMMING im??? soft?????
his brows are so strong and dark omggg ~ he’s so beautiful
OKAY i’ll be honest i’ve seen this alfred/bruce scene and the thomas bathroom scene later on and the penny flashback scene a 100 times and i still dont fucking understand what did or didnt happen regarding arthur’s parentage im????
 ive seen interpretations to say he is thomas’ son and some to say he isnt and i still cant decide so? im stupid i guess 🙃
“a clown thing?” the  s a s s
“it’s exit only” yeah so’s my ass🙃
if i was there in the hospital room i woulda turned that tv off as soon as i realised what clip was gonna play
murray’s cruelty is d i s g u s t i n g
lmao hes an asshole
arthurs lil clap from joyyyyy ~ 🥺🥺🥺
did i say murray???
i meant  m u r r a t
🙃🙃🙃
sneaky baby
wayne hall either has super bad security or arthurs v quick on his feet
🤔🤔🤔🤔
he looks so good in red omggg ~ 
f o r e s h a d o w i n g
arthurs smile when hes watching chaplin is how he smiles when we all gush to each other abt him and ourselves!!!
hes so cuuuuuute🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰
“told me what” 
ohhhh honey🥺🥺 im so sorry. “crazy” is a trigger word for arthur; it made him start laughing in the bathroom with thomas
“touch my son again ill fucking kill you” yeah?? touch my arthur again and i’ll fucking kill you🙃🙃🙃🙃
^^^ that ones a joke do not come at me
the clerk in arkham was nice to arthur - he, gary and sophie are the good gothamites.
none of it was enough to stop his descent into joker, though, and i’d even say it was too late right at the beginning of the film, too... 
his sock puppet thingy “they cut all those” is such a Joker thing to doooo ~ 
the way arthur’s laughing in the hall at arkham turns into sobbing is gut-wrenching omg the poor thing😭
i wanna hug him and protect him and help him to process this in a healthy way
sweetheart, if i could take all of your pain and put it onto me... i so would. i’d do it in a heartbeat.
i wanna get you into a hot shower, make you some food and sit and listen to you. we can either sit in silence or you can talk to me, my love, and you will be heard and understood and loved.
“i had a bad day”
IT’S OKAY I DIDNT NEED MY HEART ANYWAY OMG YOU POOR SWEET INNOCENT THING IM LOVE YOU🥺💔
THAT ENTIRE LATE NIGHT SCENE LAUGH/SOBBING GOT ME -
💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
i just wanna hold you and protect you and help you and love you
I’m so fucking sorry, darling. i wish i could take it all away from you
“i havent been happy one minute of my entire fucking life”
NO ONE SHOULD LOOK THAT ANGELIC AFTER COMMITING MATRICIDE IM????
get
that
fucking
gun
away
from
your
face
boi dont test me ill fucking go feral or - no, tell you what, i’ll point the gun at me and see how you like it
im looking respectfully at the green speckled undies scene....👀👀👀
“coming” 😏😏😏
“my mum died im celebrating” and “i stopped taking my medication” and you STILL stayed in the apartment with Arthur????? dudes those are 🚨🚨🚨 signs
woe betide anyone who underestimates arthur fleck lmaoooo
randalls death scene makes me laugh every time omg i feel so vindictive
get WRECKED
i wanna lick the blood off his face. i really want to
ngl i think i have a blood kink... 
“dont look just go” ME WITH MY ACNE WHEN I SEE IT IN THE MIRROR 😂😂😂😂
JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER 
ASDFGHJKL
J
O
K
E
R
ERIKA.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING
JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERRRRRR
😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 MY BABY MY MAN OMG THERE HE IS IM CRY???????😭🥺😭🥺😭🥺
my mind is literally blank rn im just staring and crying and smiling so hard my face hurts????? im love him so so so so much
sweet thing’s so used to pain he gets HIT BY A CAR AND KEEPS GOING????
I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU
hghhhhhhhhhhhhhh
euirrrrrrgkjbgkfbirsghigrbugr
*incoherent keyboardsmash to portray utter love*
ohhh baby no dont cry. oh honey😭 i wanna sit on your lap and kiss your tears away
“i love dr sally”
you have a WIFE at home
“DO YOU REMEMBER?” THAT WAS YOUR CUE TO APOLOGISE LMAO GET FUCKED MURRAT
he’s so CUTE
omgggg ~ 
my hearts gonna give out its SQUEEZING SO HARD IT HURTS
YOU MOCK THEM, BABY!!! THEY GOT IT COMING
“i wanna get it right” hes so passionate
my comments have deceased in number bc im just too starstruck and in love to even think clearly lmao
jokers all i know rn and this is the most peaceful ive felt in WEEKS
im sobbing
ugh fuck this hurts so BAD
youre speaking the truth, darling. im so so proud of you and i love you so much
“THEY COULDNT CARRY A TUNE TO SAVE THEIR LIVES” LMAO INSIDE JOKESSS
literally sobbing right now ugh what the fuck youre in so much pain and in the middle of a breakdown and no one saw you
ugh baby im so sorry, you deserve so much better
you tried so hard and you were gonna fall no matter what
IN THE WHITE ROOM
“hi” baby they cant hear you but im COOING 🥺🥺🥺🥺
you’re so fucking cute
say the word and ill burn gotham to the fucking ground for you
i wanna sit atop that car and cradle your head in my lap and wipe the blood off your face and help you stand up and be there for you and and and😭😭😭😭😭😭 i love you so so so much. 
i’d be so much worse off without you in my life. you brought a splash of colour which has never dimmed or faded. it never will. 
b l o o d    s m i l e
=
im wearing my inside on the outside now and it still hurts
angel💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔
i see you and your pain. i love you.
i see you, angel. 
his genuine laughter is🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
that cute lil “ksksks” he does im🥺🥺🥺
i always laugh with him omg the two of us are laughing together ugh its the closest i will ever get to sharing in his joy
 t h a t ‘s    l i f e
i love the hallway daaaaaaaaaaaaaance ~ 
them hips dont lie😉😉😉
i love you i love you i love you i love you omg the sun’s like a halo ugh i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you im singing along to thats life while i type out how much i love you at 220am lmaooooo ~ 
i   l o v e    y o u
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burtlederp · 4 years ago
Note
Grant(3), Caleb(4), Caetan(35), Tiburon(49) oops,, its a lot, huh? Your characters are just awesome hAHA sorrYY
Nooo don’t apologize thank YOU!!! I’M sorry for taking so long to respond!!!
Putting stuff under a readmore because holy hell there’s a lot of it
3. What is/was Grant’s relationship with his father like? tw: drugs, drugs, and more drugs; child abuse a la neglect
He’s laying on his back in the middle of his apartment, staring at the domed ceiling overhead. Coherent thoughts are far and few between, his mind muddled by the haze that fills it, fills the room, the whole apartment. Before he’d started smoking, he’d known he’d regret stealing so much weed, but for now, he didn’t. He floated in a peaceful bliss, utterly serene. No thoughts in, no thoughts out. Just smoke, curling and floating around him. Shapes moved amongst the haze, too faint to identify, passing, shifting forms. People, perhaps, walking by, walking around him. Legs passing by, nobody ever stopping to look down at him. People milling about, paces slowing, soon they’re coming and going. They enter the room, they talk, they leave after a brief exchange of currencies. His father is sitting behind him, on the couch. He’s high too, he’s always high, Grant can just barely see the shadows of his father’s hunched form when he tips his head back. His father never relaxed when he was high. He always became even higher strung, if that was possible. He only calmed down when he had heroin in his veins, or something stronger. 
Grant couldn’t see the face of the smoky form of his father. There wasn’t one. In his memory, there never had been. His father in the transient construction of smoke was as accurate as any depiction Grant could have conjured on his own. Never present, never really there, always drugged out of his mind, never sober. Just the same as the haze that filled the house permanently. 
4. Has Caleb ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed him? If so, does anyone else know? tw: war is hell, child abuse a la war is fucking hell, no I’ve not read the Silmarillion I just like the idea of Tom Bombadil don’t @ me
Caleb scrubbed his face on his arm and shivered, pulling the tattered cloth he called a blanket tighter around himself. It’d been raining for days now, with no end in sight, and it had transformed the prairie into a mudscape. He and one other lone figure huddled around a tree that stood tall in the midst of the brown sea, one solitary rise of solid ground, one lone spot of relative shelter. 
“B-beautiful weather, innit?” the other, the stranger, chuckled. It was the first thing they’d said since they arrived. They’d showed up last night, flopping down against the tree and falling asleep. Caleb had kept his distance, kept still, not showing any inclination of actually being alive. He didn’t reply to the stranger’s comment on the weather.
“Not in th’ mood ‘fer talkin’? Thas’ a’ight…” they sighed after a long minute, realizing Caleb wouldn’t respond. “An’ I know yer’ not asleep, ‘cause iss’ too cold t’be sleepin’ right now.” Caleb still didn’t respond. He was wary of the person. There was no such thing as a stranger with ulterior motives. 
“Don’ worry, I got enough words fer’ th’ both of us,” the stranger, a man, Caleb realized over the constant sound of rain, scoffed. Caleb looked heavenward, praying silently. 
Please, no, don’t let him talk, Caleb prayed, but unfortunately the gods were not on his side in this moment. 
“I’ve met a god before. Now, I know what yer’ thinkin’--’you? Dionisio? Seen a god? Ha! As if!’ But I tells ya’, I met ‘em. Hell if I’m to know which one he was or what he did or whatnot, but I met ‘im and he was a fabulous fella. Called ‘imself Tom, of all things. Can ye’ believe that? A god, named Tom! Ah, I hardly believed it myself when ‘e said it.” Caleb sighed, rubbing his face. The man’s name was Dionisio, and he was crazy. Excellent. I’m stuck out here in the middle of nowhere with a crazy man who’s likely going to kill and eat me. 
A distinct crunch cut off Caleb’s train of thought. It wasn’t a sickening crunch, like a breaking bone or the like, but like a bite into an apple, a fresh, crisp apple. Caleb spun around, looking around the tree to see the man, as crinkled and wrinkled and dirty and filthy as he had sounded and smelled, leaned comfortably against the tree. His dark, beady eyes twinkled as Caleb stared at him.
“Mm, I knew that’d get yer’ attention!” he laughed, a hand lowering to his side. Before Caleb could react, jump back from the man’s drawn sword--he realized the man hadn’t drawn a sword at all. It was another apple. He held out the bright red fruit to Caleb. “Go on n’ take it, lad, y’probably more starved than I am!” 
Caleb sat there, hesitating, eyes flickering between the apple and the man, weighing his options. He could take the apple, but… what did he want in return? Was the apple cursed? Poisoned? Was this a trick? He backed up a step warily, like a shy animal.
“Ayee, I’m not gonna ‘urt you! I jus’ wanna give y’ somethin’ t’eat. I swear I ain’t mean nuthin’ by it,” Dionisio insisted, holding the apple out further. Caleb stared, waiting. Dionisio tilted his head, giving a wry smile. “C’mon laddie. I ain’t mean ye no harm, c’mon.” His voice softened as he spoke, getting a little quieter, more gentle, not so rough and abrasive like the coarse mud that surrounded them. Caleb swallowed, his stomach twisting. It’d been days since he’d eaten. He didn’t remember when he’d last eaten. And here it was, food, offered with no strings attached. It was too good to be true. But his hunger overrode his instincts now and he snatched the apple from the man’s hand, leaping away right after. 
“Aye, there we go, there we go, see? An’ I didn’ even ‘urt ye!” Dionisio chortled, watching as Caleb devoured the apple. The old man kept smiling, but it faded somewhat as the small, one-armed boy ate. “Ye been hit as ‘ard as anyone else by this war, ain’t ye?” 
Caleb, chewing, looked up briefly at the man through messy, curly, wet black hair that fell in his eyes. He nodded, ever so slightly. 
“Ye… Ain’t we all…” Dionisio sighed, letting his head rest against th’ tree. “I got more apples fer’ ye if ye want ‘em after that ‘un.” Caleb frowned.
“Why?” Caleb was surprised as the sound that came from his throat was not one he recognized. It was a croak, rough and unused. Though it had been… well, Caleb didn’t even know the last time he’d spoken. He cleared his throat and tried again, questioning the man. Dionisio huffed a laugh.
“‘Why’? Whaddya’ mean, ‘why’?” the old man looked to him with a grin. “‘Cause I want to, and ye look half-dead, and ye barely a child! Ye need it more than I do.”
“But….” Caleb looked down at the core of the apple in his hand. “You could last so much longer if you kept them to yourself.”
“But you’ll last so much longer if I don’t, won’t ye?” Dionisio pointed out simply. “That’s reason enough fer’ me.” A spot of red appeared in Caleb’s peripheral vision, and he raised his head to see another apple being offered to him, Dionisio smiling. Caleb took it slowly.
“No… no other goal…?” Caleb asked cautiously, and Dionisio shook his head.
“None. I jus’ wanna see ye get outta’ this war alive, lad.”
Caleb leaned back against the tree as Dionisio kept telling his story, listening out of one ear as he thought about the apple. Food, so precious in this time of war and chaos, and he’d given it away freely. 
Perhaps there are good people in this world, still… Caleb thought as Dionisio talked and talked and talked, and it rained and rained and rained.
35. How does Caetan behave around people he likes? in a word: badly tw: implied to-happen noncon/r*pe
Caetan drummed his fingers on the bartop, chin resting in his other hand. He nudged his drink around a bit, bored. He didn’t really know what he was here for. Well, he did, he knew very well. He’d been more than busy the past couple weeks, and was yearning for some company. But he wasn’t sure what mood he was in. 
And then someone sat down a few seats from him at the bar and he did a double-take. A man, maybe 6-foot-one, with short, dark hair that was well-kept, well-styled. Lean, well-muscled, but not brawny. His face was narrow, and by god that was the most perfect nose Caetan had ever seen in his life. 
Caetan realized what mood he was in and got to his feet.
“This seat taken?” Caetan inquired. The man turned, looking up at him with deep, chocolate-y brown eyes that made Caetan pray the man said no because his knees were about to give out. The man shook his head, and Caetan tried to slip into the seat without giving away how weak he was already. “You here alone tonight?”
“I am,” the stranger responded, eyeing Caetan somewhat warily. 
“That’s a shame,” Caetan shook his head. “A beautiful creature like yourself on your own on a Friday night? I’d say that’s a crime against humanity.”
The man stared at him, and Caetan suddenly second-guessed everything he’d said or done already. What had he done wrong? Could he fix it? What--
“I’m straight.” Ah. That’s what’s wrong. Caetan’s face fell a bit.
“Well, damn. You sure?” Caetan sighed.
“Very,” the man replied stiffly.
“That’s an even bigger shame, then,” Caetan grunted, motioning the bartender over. “Let me buy you a drink then, to save some face.”
“No thanks,” the man said quickly, getting to his feet. “Have a good night.” With that, the beautiful stranger turned and walked away. Caetan watched him go, and slowly got to his feet, moving stealthily through the bar as the man headed to the door of the bar, and he followed him out into the night.
49. If Tiburon was put into ______ situation, they’d rather die than live to see it through. I had no idea what to do with this for a looong time, ngl cw: cannablism(?), consumption of human flesh, gore, Tiburon doesn’t give two shits about your ‘ethics’, he’s got his own that he’s following; oh and implied kidnapping, planned torture that never happens
It occurred to Tiburon, now too late, that perhaps he was in over his head. ‘Infiltrate the mafia,’ they said, ‘it’ll be fun,’ they said. ‘You surely won’t be forced to torture and kill someone!,’ they said, he thought bitterly as he stood in front of a man tied firmly to a chair, a black bag over his head. His head was bowed inside the bag, but he wasn’t unconscious; Tiburon could hear the man choking on sobs, shoulders shaking. Tiburon had killed people before, he’d eaten people before, he had no issue with that; it was the torture that made him hesitate. Every time he’d killed, he’d taken special care to not let them suffer, he hated suffering.
And now here he was, being compelled to do it. Well, he would be, it hadn’t happened yet. He was trapped in this shipping container, another man standing by the door, waiting, watching, playing witness to Tiburon’s actions to let the boss know he was legit. Tiburon sighed, rubbing his face. What a fucking inconvenience. Six months--six fucking months of work, all down the drain, just like that. He tortured this man, made him suffer, or they would kill Tiburon. Well, they thought they would. Unfortunately, they were currently on the docks, so Tiburon would make his getaway before they ever knew he’d changed his mind about the work. 
He turned away from the sobbing, bound man to face the guard, crossing his arms. The man, at least a head taller than Tiburon and fifty pounds heavier, every ounce made of muscle, eyed him.
“What?” The man’s voice was exactly what Tiburon had pictured--deep, raspy, heavy. Appropriate.
“Nothing,” Tiburon replied, looking away with a sigh. He rubbed his jaw, thinking. He had to cut to the chase before things started getting iffy. He turned back around and walked close to the guard.
“What’re you doing?” the guard grunted, sizing up the supposed torturer while the supposed torturer did the same to him. Tiburon did not reply, not verbally, grabbing the man by the head and pushing him against the wall. The guard barked in alarm and fought back, but Tiburon was quicker and slippery. Before the large brute could get a good grip on him and make the whole ordeal a lot more trouble, he leapt forward and sank his teeth into the man’s throat. The guard’s shout of alarm quickly twisted into a scream, then into a gargled wail that was silenced as Tiburon pulled away, trachea still in his teeth. The guard slumped to the floor, grasping at his own neck with wide eyes, and Tiburon hated it. A swift kick, and the guard’s body shuddered and went still, skull dented. Tiburon chewed thoughtfully on the trachea for a moment, surveying his work, and went to the captive man. The poor creature yelped in alarm at the touch as Tiburon cut through the zipties, but went quiet as the black hood was yanked off. The man’s eyes went wide as he saw the cartilage in Tiburon’s mouth, the dead body, and scrambled backwards with a terrified shriek.
“No, no, no no no please!” he begged, tears rolling down his cheek, one hand outstretched protectively. Tiburon frowned.
“Don’t worry, I won’t, I just figured it’d be cruel to leave you alone in the summer heat. Toodles.” With that, the merman turned and stepped out of the shipping crate, walking to the edge of the water, at some point discarding the trachea (cartilage wasn’t good eats anyhow) along the way. He dove in, relishing the cool ocean saltwater as it closed over his head, pleasant in the summer heat. 
Six whole months… he thought again as he swam away, his legs fusing into a long tail, skin becoming rough, teeth sharpening. Ah well. Now I know; the mafia isn’t worth the work.
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fingerguneds · 5 years ago
Note
Stozier + going to the movies
im like one hundred percent sure this is not what you wanted and it turns out i dont know what a drabble is so it’s 4.4k long but um..yeah hope you like it 
Richie is tired. Okay, “tired” is actually a litotes — he’s fucking exhausted. Two weeks of pre-holiday classes — two weeks of deadlines, exams and final test, two weeks of nervous breakdowns and panic attacks for all students, and for him, probably the biggest procrastinator in their year, it was a hell ride. Sugar-high, coffee-flavoured satanic ritual.
But in the end, he finished up good, of course he did, because not only he’s a phenomenal fuckup of a person with a pathological time-management crisis, he’s also a smart fucking guy. And now, after his last French exam, it’s only fair that he goes home and tries to recover from his two weeks long sleep deficit, but…no.
The problem is, he promised Bill to accompany him to the new Star Wars film premiere, they got the tickets days ago, and even though Richie feels like throwing up and lying in his puke for a month and crying helplessly about of it, he promised. And it’s not just someone, it’s Bill, his best friend, and the newest part of Star Wars! And maybe, if three Red Bulls and two strawberry-flavoured Fantas didn’t make his heart stop, another large-sized slushie won’t either. His heart’s a strong one, it’s been to hell and back and he can show you vouchers — his student’s record book, thank you very much.
“You’re gonna have diabetes,” Eddie, Bill’s boyfriend, intones, when Richie arrives to their apartment to pick up Bill with a venti gingerbread latte in his right hand. “Feed him something or come up with a good eulogy,” he tells Bill, standing on tiptoe to leave a quick peck on his cheek.
“But your mom told me I shouldn’t ever force myself to eat—” Richie tries, but Bill pushes him out of the apartment with a sigh and closes the door, leaving Eddie’s pink-cheeked and ready-to-fight face behind it.
“Sure you’re not hungry?”
“It’s always like that when you miss a night of your beauty sleep,” Richie grimaces as they get into the elevator. “But we still can grab something to go.”
“McDonalds?”
Richie chuckles. As kids, they always went to McDonalds before films, hiding burgers and fries in their little hats in winter or bringing a special backpack “for illegal purposes only” in summer so the cinema boys wouldn’t kick them out, or worse — make them throw everything away. Now, no one cares whether you bring your own snacks or not, and they actually finish their food while driving, but there’s still a lingering touch of nostalgia to the whole process.
They’re barely on time, because Richie insisted on buying a goddamn slushie, although the line was fucking enormous, and yet they take their seats exactly one minute before upcoming film trailers begin. They’re both excited as hell, the slushie tastes amazing after the first proper meal he’s had since yesterday’s evening (yes, fries, nuggets and a Big Mac is a meal, unlike two Kit Kats and a bag of Doritos), and yet…nothing goes as planned.
After fifteen minutes of the film, Richie starts to zone the fuck out. The food is still warm in his belly, his winter scarf he didn’t pull off is soft and comfortable under his crooked neck, his eyelids feel like the only thing heavier than them is his head. He tries, he really does, he clears his glasses twice, he finishes his slushie with the largest gulps to wake up, he bites the insides of his cheeks, but it’s all pointless.
Thirty minutes into the film, and Richie’s gone.
***
“Richie! Richie, wuw-wake up! Oh my guh-god, I’m so suh-sorry, he—Richie!“
Bill sounds nervous. His childhood stutter comes back when he is. There’s a tug at Richie’s hand he barely registers.
“It’s okay,” someone chuckles curtly right above Richie’s ear. “At least his hair is clean.”
Um, rude.
Well, maybe in a different situation, Richie wouldn’t have thought that it’s rude. Like, it’s always nice when people have clean hair. Yes.
But.
He’s diabolically tired. His nerves are nothing but a strained, stiff line that is in an alarming danger to snap and slap you in the face, his mind is dangerously aggressive, meeting every single thing with feverish hostility, and Richie doesn’t even wonder if it’s him the voice is talking about. Even if it’s not, it’s still rude. He tries to remember when he last washed his hair — this morning, to not die before emerging from his flat. And his shampoo is nice too, it’s his mom’s shampoo, because he has her curls and—
“Richie!”
He straightens up abruptly, as if someone just kicked him in the balls, eyes still blurry, like a newborn bird’s.
“Ye.”
Someone starts laughing.
“He sounds like that vine.”
Richie blinks and turns to his left, still not quite conscious of the situation, yet quite aware that this someone’s laughing at him.
The first boy he sees sits one seat away from Richie, but he’s leaning forward, elbows on knees, face on the palms of his hands. He’s the one who said about the vine (Richie’s almost one hundred percent sure he knows which vine), and although Richie feels very attacked, he has to admit, the boy’s cute. He has dark skin, dark eyes, jawline to kill (and to die) for, and his smile is so wide and genuinely nice that it would be a shame to get mad at the owner.
Fuck this guy, he’s educated on vines and he’s hot. If it wasn’t for the “basically a ray of sunshine” part, Richie would fall.
And then there’s the asshole. He opens his mouth again.
“The peanut baby vine?” Richie looks at the mop of curly dark-blond hair, currently hiding the said asshole’s face as he turns to look at the first guy, and Richie’s offended diva is back. He may be a fuckup, but no one has a right to say anything about his hair with a voice like this. Even if it’s greasy as fuck, knotty and smells like used oil, like everyone’s hair smells after visiting places where kitchens are inside the main room and they just keep frying the shit out of food right in front of you; even then, no one can say shit about his hair, even—
“Yeah, that one,” the dark-skinned guy laughs again, and the curly asshole turns to face Richie.
No one can say shit about Richie’s hair, even if they own Cupid’s face. No joke, the guy—pardon, the motherfucker looks like an epitome of Cupid from the Psyche myth (not the fat winged baby). Richie quickly gets mad at himself for paying this much attention to the guy, but know your enemy, right? Know your enemy — their hair dark blond hair, like fields of rye in November, their plump pale lips and pale, although with a warm undertone, skin with an almost invisible constellation of freckles on the wings of his nose, their eyes and their dark, muddy colour Richie can’t really identify in the poor lighting of the auditorium. They’re bright with joy and fox-like curiosity, yet insolent and a little arrogant; daring.
Seriously, do people have to be this pretty? One is hot, like an Abercrombie model you see once and think of for days, the second one is not hot but really, really attractive, like someone who would make a fortune with this intense stare, peeling you off right there, where you’ve had a misfortune to capitulate.
“Rich,” he feels Bill’s large hand on his shoulder, still participating in this ugly staring competition with the curly one. “Guys, we’re sorry ag-again, huh-he’s really tired and doesn’t cuh-control himself.”
Richie blinks and frowns, ready to explode right into Bill’s face, but he cuts him off.
“Come on, Richie, we gotta go.”
They stand up, Richie taking his empty slurpie glass in one hand and looking at the guys again. Everything feels like a dream, his brain is too heavy, his legs disobey, his hands don’t feel like they belong to him.
“ ‘s alright, no big deal,” the first boy says again with the gentlest glimmer to his eyes and the loveliest smile, but Richie…Richie’s tired and bitter and…stupid.
“Yeah, you’re probably used to people leaving after waking up with you,” he says, looking directly into the curly one’s eyes. “Not you, you’re cool,” he winks quickly at his friend, as Bill starts swearing quietly and pulling Richie towards the door.
“Dude,” he says, when they both emerge from the cinema doors, a cig already in his fingers. He offers his pack to Richie without a word.
They smoke in silence, walking towards Richie’s car, and Richie is the one to break it.
“Did I really fall asleep on him?”
Bill chuckles and rolls his eyes.
“Yes you did. I didn’t notice until the lights were on.”
“Surprised he didn’t say anything,” Richie mutters, turning the car key.
“You’re too hard on the guy,” Bill huffs out, lips still wearing a lopsided grin. “He didn’t say anything—“
“Yes he did, I heard what he said about my hair, it’s—“
“Rich,” Bill sighs, but he’s not in the least bit mad or disapproving. Bill has always been a keeper of the wonderful gift of understanding. “He said you weren’t a bother and that he’s glad your hair’s not greasy. This is a perfectly normal thing to say, you’re just tired and tensed, and take things too personally. You just need a rest. C’mon, want me to drive you home? I’ll catch a bus to mine, no problem.”
***
The next four days Richie spends at home, sleeping and eating. Sleeping, eating, watching Netflix, thinking about the curly boy, sometimes. Actually, the memory of that day quickly turns into something embarrassing for Richie, something he knows that will make his cheeks grow hot and pink even years later. He was really, really rude to the guy, rude for nothing, and the worst part of the situation is — he can’t apologize. And! The worst-worst part is that the second-to-worst part is — the boy was absolutely gorg dot com. What an unfortunate turn of events: Richie can’t even suck his dick as an apology. Or just suck his dick. Whatever, he’d find a way to make it up to the boy, he’s talented with all parts of his body.
But it’s like falling in love with someone you saw on a train or in line at grocery store. Or maybe slightly worse, because Richie manage to fall fucking asleep on the guy, but still — a crush, doomed to picturesque longing and a quiet little death. It’s all about the masochistic nature of humankind — Richie concludes bitterly to himself, because although he’s a certificated Trashmouth, there’s a pathologically romanticistic heart under all these layers of shit.
No, seriously. He’s too much for everyone, even for himself. Especially for himself.
But enough with this shit, Richie decides the moment next, because his mood swings are the only thing wilder than his imagination. C’est la vie, you fuck up and you keep going until you fuck up again. Maybe there is a lesson he can learn, like to keep his mouth shut when he’s tired or, um, to do his homework in time and not traumatize himself…but it’s Richie. He never learns.
He falls asleep on his couch again, trying to decide what he wants to eat after waking up. God only knows why his actual last thought is so, what the curly boy smelled like?
***
Richie doesn’t remember the last time he’s been to a library. He’s always felt that a book should belong to him for being able to read it comfortably, but when you’re assigned to write a research on Andrei Tarkovskiy’s connection with slavic symbolism…not many books you can find in a regular American bookshop down the street.
The library is huge. The entrance is decorated with ionic columns and the door is so massive Richie barely manages to open it. Inside, it’s just as impressive, with the highest ceilings he’s ever seen and beautiful bookcases and tables of dark wood, situated under big thick windows. Richie undoes his scarf and immediately walks towards the service desk, knowing for sure there’s no way he’ll manage to find anything without help. His steps are loud in the monumental silence of this place.
“Uh, hi?” he says, as quietly as he can, and the boy behind the desk looks up at him and smiles politely.
“Good afternoon. How can I help you?”
“Well,” Richie chuckles, trying to hope for the best. “Do you happen to know any books related to slavic symbolism in Soviet cinematography, Andrei Tarkovskiy’s specifically?”
The boy arches his eyebrows. Richie smiles unsurely and gets ready to shrug it off and maybe convince his lecturer to change his topic of research.
“I’ll have to be honest, I have no idea how to help you, sir, but my colleague, who is currently in the section number eight is probably more educated on this matter.”
“Oh, okay,” Richie nods, considering to leave the place right now, but the boy’s softest, a little apologetic smile decide for him.
“It’s to the left, straight up until you see the number.”
“Thank you very much,” Richie tells him and turns towards the rows of bookcases.
12, 11, 10, 9…here it is.
The amount of books is almost frightening. The bookshelves are no less than two and a half meters tall, and Richie immediately imagines one of these things crashing epically right on his head. He licks his lips and takes a deep breath, then turns behind the number Eight.
Five or more bookcases, forming some kind of a wall. In a couple of steps from where Richie’s standing, leaning on one of them, there’s a ladder, and on the ladder, one and a half meters above the floor, there’s a boy with a couple of books in his hands. Richie, even in glasses, can’t really see his face, because the light doesn’t reach it.
“Hi,” the boy speaks up first, although Richie decides to wait until he’s finished. It’s like, dangerous. The whole construction looks…unsafe. “Can I help you?”
“Yes, hello, uh, the boy at the desk told me you could help me to find some resources on slavic symbolism in Andrei Tarkovskiy’s films?”
Richie doesn’t notice that he’s holding his breath. The boy’s hands don’t stop, they don’t even flinch, he surely keeps placing the books one by one to where they belong. They’re both silent for a long minute.
“I’m not sure I can help you to find something with both Andrei Tarkovskiy and slavic symbolism, but you could look through slavic symbolism analysis in Russian art in general and the language of Andrei Tarkovskiy’s separately.”
Motherfucker.
“Oh wow, that would actually—“
“Also on the Internet there are a lot of articles on what inspired Tarkovskiy’s methods, if I were you I’d check them out as well.”
The last two books stay tucked under his arm, and that is when he begins to climb down.
“God, lemme help you,” Richie’s heart trembles and starts beating faster at the sight of how tremendously dangerous the boy’s position looks, and he rushes towards the ladder.
“I’m alri—“ the boy turns his head to look at Richie, and when their eyes meet and the spark of recognition explodes between them, two things happen at once: first, Richie’s heart stops, and second, the boy falls down the ladder.
“Bloody fuck,” Richie breathes out, already on his knees beside the boy’s sprawled body. It’s him, of course it’s him, his curly hair, pale freckles on heart-shaped face, but now it’s all red, wearing a grimace of breathless pain. Richie’s so shocked he doesn’t know what to do. The boy turns to lay on his back and a hard moan escapes his lips.
“Oh God, oh fuck, what the—“
“Shut up,” the boy manages to say, chest trembling from the efforts to control his breath. “Shut up and call the—“
“Stan! Jesus, what happened!?”
The other boy is now here too, Richie sees him with the corner of his eye. He looks back though, quickly inspecting the boy’s—Stan’s body.
“What does it look like,” he mocks, cheeks darker than a pomegranate. If Richie wasn’t so terrified, he would appreciate this. Like, a lot. “Call an ambulance, quick, I think my collarbone is broken.”
“Oh my God,” Richie and the other boy mutter in unison, and Stan rolls his eyes.
“Well unfortunately, it’s not my fucking neck, so I’m kind of in pain right now and would really appreciate—“
“God, yes, sorry, yes.”
Richie too pulls out his phone, hands shaking, while Stan closes his eyes and tries to remain unmoving. There’s not much Richie can do, but it’s still something. The other boy’s panicked voice is explaining something in the background. Every ring lasts forever, and when Eddie finally picks the phone, Richie’s sure he almost had a heart attack. Twice.
“Eds? Hi, listen, what do I do if someone breaks their collarbone?”
He accidentally catches Stan’s unreadable stare and looks away, heart already on fire.
“What? Richie, what the fuck, are you okay?”
“I’m fine, I’m just—“
“Did anyone break their collarbone?”
“Well it looks like this, yeah.”
“Did you call—“
“Yeah, but—“
“Okay, fuck, okay, most importantly, do not try to move the body until they arrive, it’s really fucking important, got it? Let them stay where they are, immobilize the shoulders completely, also—do you have ice there?”
“Do you—“ Richie turns to the other boy, but he’s still on the phone, so he has to ask Stan. “Do you have ice?”
Stan blinks, and for the first time, Richie notices that he’s balancing his head above the floor. It’s clear lowering it hurts him. Oh, and his pride is too hard-to-swallow to ask for help. It’s hot.
“Yes, I think we do.”
“Yeah, we do,” Richie repeats and moves awkwardly on his knees to help Stan keep his head up. Stan freezes for a second, but then blinks and relaxes into Richie’s hands.
“Use it for pain, you can give them an ibuprofen too, but don’t let them move, Richie, okay!? Now tell me what the fuck—“
“Later, Eds, thanks a lot, bye,” Richie breaths out as fast as he can and focuses on Stan.
Even upside down, he looks pretty.
Fuck.
Richie, shut the hell up, you’ll think about this later, you sick fuck.
Stan looks him in the eye, and Richie sees that those irises are brown. They’re bright with accidental tears, framed with dark thick lashes, and the colour is not exactly brown, more like greenish-brown, like pine tree needles three weeks after Christmas.
“You shouldn’t move,” Richie says, back to reality. “You shouldn’t move, we need ice and you’re allowed to take an ibuprofen.”
“They’re gonna be here in ten minutes,” the other boy finally joins them, face as red as Stan’s. Actually, even worse: red is his neck and probably his shoulders are too.
“Could you bring me some ice? And a glass of water with an ibuprofen?” Stan asks him, and Richie’s finally calmed down enough to notice how calm Stan is, although the situation is…literally the craziest he’s ever been in. He moves his leg to support his arm holding Stan’s head. Fuck, those curls are soft. Not like Richie’s, Richie’s are soft too, but Stan’s are in thicker rings, curling tenderly around Richie’s pale fingers, licking the boy’s unhealthily pale sweaty forehead.
“Like what you see?” Richie hears Stan’s voice and meets his intense gaze again. There is this daring glimmer to his eyes again, and Richie willingly accepts it.
“Dude, stop,” he chuckles weakly, licking his lips. “ You know I’m already in love.”
Despite their position, Stan huffs, but then his face skews of pain.
“Shh,” Richie winces and moves his fingers in an instinctive soothing motion. “You’re gonna be fine soon.”
“It’s not that bad, just a collarbone. Happens to people all the time.”
“At least it didn’t break through your skin,” Richie blurts out and regrets it immediately, cheeks flaming up.
But then, Stan chuckles. There’s a dimple in one of his cheeks, the left one. Richie’s almost sure his eyes are fully heart-shaped by now.
“Here,” the other librarian boy rushes up to them with what looks like a towel, stuffed with ice cubes, and a glass of water.
He puts a pill in Stan’s lips and lets him drink carefully, then passes Richie the towel.
“Tell me where,” Richie murmurs, and despite how fucked up the situation actually is, this feels oddly intimate. He lowers the towel and feels how more tensed Stan grows.
“A bit—yeah,” he breathes out, and Richie presses down a little.
“Told you you should’ve taken a lunch break,” the librarian guy mumbles softly, and for a moment Richie thinks he’s gonna cry.
Stan rolls his eyes. Richie keeps holding. Somewhere near the door bursts open.
***
“This shit’s surreal,” Bill says after a long pause, when Richie calls him from the hospital an hour later. “I don’t believe this.”
“Fair enough,” Richie nods to himself, inspecting his shoes. “And yet.”
“What are you going to do?”
“Probably something stupid,” Richie hears Eddie’s voice and grins.
“You’re absolutely correct, Edward.”
“You scared the shit out of me,” comes an answer, and Richie thanks him once again for helping out.
“Trust me, I was ten times worse.”
“It’s actually unbelievable,” Bill says again, and Richie knows the face he’s probably wearing at the moment: blue eyes wide, eyebrows furrowed in the slightest bit, one corner of his lips crooked a little. “If it’s not fate, I don’t know what it is.”
“Ooooow,” Richie and Eddie fondly mock him in unison, and Richie knows for sure someone’s gonna get some when he hangs up. “Don’t get too emotional, Big Bill, Edster likes it rough, just like his mom.”
“Oh for fuck’s—“ Eddie’s scandalized howl is the last thing he hears before the line goes silent, and he’s alone again, with the most shit-eating smirk on his face.
The other librarian boy — Ben, he learned when the ambulance arrived — stayed at the library, and Richie was secretly happy to accompany Stan to the hospital alone, although he insisted a couple of times that Richie doesn’t need to.
Richie’s stomach growls and he needs a fag asap, but there’s no way he’s missing Stan. God only knows when he’s at the library again, and Richie needs…Richie needs to talk.
And when Stan, with a sling supporting his hand, walks out of the emergency room, Richie stands up, not being able to help a smile forming on his face.
“Don’t you have other things to do?” Stan asks him, but he’s not annoyed. He looks tired and disheveled, but still calm, and Richie notices that they’re both the same height. Stan’s all legs though, all legs and curls.
“You’re the most important one on the list,” Richie answers automatically, and Stan purses his lips, clearly unimpressed. His eyes glimmer brighter, though. “Hungry?”
Stan graciously arches his dark eyebrow.
“Are you—“ he cuts himself off, clearly thinking it’s a bad idea, but when Richie keeps waiting (politely, although he’s nervous as fuck, because hello to today’s third heart attack), he licks his lips and starts again. “Are you trying to ask me out?”
“Maybe?” thank God his voice sounds much, much more confident than he, in fact, is.
Richie probably needs to get comfortable with Stan needing a moment of silence to think good. Unlike other people that start…to ramble.
“Sorry, I’m just used to people leaving after waking up with me.”
Richie’s jaw hits the floor harder than that meteor hit the Earth and fucked up the dinosaurs. Go off, Stan the Man, go the fuck off.
And he doesn’t even look proud of himself. It’s as casual for him as it is for Richie to tell your dad a mom joke. For Heaven’s sake, who is this guy?
“Well,” Richie squeaks, feeling that his body is on again, as if something blew his fuse for a moment. “It’s not happening any time soon, pretty boy,” he points at Stan’s sling, “so I thought maybe I could try something different.”
“Like what?” he’s smiling now. Legit.
“A dinner? A couple of them? Maybe films? Although I’ll have to be careful with this one, your shoulders are fragile now.”
Stan’s smile becomes even wider as Richie continues to ramble, and although it’s not the brightest and sunniest smile he’s ever seen, it sure feels like the most precious one. It feels like a reward.
It still feels like the most precious reward, weeks later, when they finally wake up together and Richie only leaves to pee and to make them a coffee. Months later, when Richie lets his hand slide down Stan’s shoulder and feels the slightest crook to his collarbone with the tips of his fingers. Years later, after some shitty horror film about some monster clown who eats kids, when he proposes in that empty cinema auditorium, in those exact seats.
Stan still needs a minute to think good, but his burning, incandescent smile says everything Richie needs to know.
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hellas-himself · 5 years ago
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@sorry-im-an-aries​ asked for a Mob Au. And I PROMISE I am not abandoning my fics, but I welcomed the mental break from everything else. It probably doesn’t make sense, but when I’m working on a bunch of stuff at once, I can focus better? Anyway. This was super fun and it’ll probably be a few chapters long (because why not). With my kid back to school, I’ll probably be able to going back to updating stuff frequently. Y’all know how terrible I am at titles so it’s free game if anyone wants to name it lol
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The Present
I did this for you...
 The first gun shot made me jump, and I hoped to god no one noticed. To my luck, everyone- even Luce- was focused on Tamlin and the lifeless body on the floor. 
 I did this...
 The second gunshot forced me to stand up a little straighter, schooling my features into that of cool indifference. They looked up to Tam for his strength, his fearlessness. If I wanted to keep my place at his side, I had to be just as strong. Just as fearless. 
I…
The third gunshot sounded and I was no longer in the abandoned warehouse, but in a mansion in the suburbs. Overturned tables and broken glass. Two dead at my feet, my gun pointed at her even as she laughed and called me nobody. Worthless. And maybe she was right. But it was her or Tamlin. 
 Bronn and Hart were ordered to get rid of the bodies, the sound bringing me back to the present. Before I could speak Tamlin was already telling Lucien to take me home. As Luce placed a hand to the small of my back, I turned to find Tamlin leading Ianthe out another way. Once, this would have broken me. I would have made a scene. But I knew better now. 
 Lucien was quiet on the drive home, but I noticed him looking back at me through the mirror. It was silly to look for decency in a world of mobsters and crooked men. But Lucien was decent. 
“Hey, are you alright?” he asked quietly. 
“I just want to go to sleep,” I replied. A blatant lie, one I used far too often. But Lucien had been there, he knew what I had done just to keep Tamlin safe. Lucien said nothing else until he parked the car outside of the house. Two guards stood out front and greeted us before Lucien unlocked the door. We walked inside. I started to go up the stairs and stopped when Lucien called my name.
 “He just wants to keep you safe,” he said and I scoffed.
 “Yeah, the way he’s keeping Ianthe safe every night.”
 “It’s not like that.”
 “He wouldn’t have you defending him if it wasn’t.”
 I continued on and I made my way upstairs to my room. Because Tamlin still refused to share his with me. But that didn’t matter anymore. 
 I pulled my jacket off and tossed it on the dresser. I took my time untying the laces of my boots, the buttons of my shirt. Tamlin didn’t come to my room anymore, and that was alright. It didn’t matter anymore, either. 
 “You’re slacking,” I said in a teasing voice as I heard my bedroom door open and close. The lock click. I looked at Lucien through the mirror, my heart near aching at the way he smiled at me. 
 “That was quite the performance,” Lucien said and I rolled my eyes.
 “You forgot to promise to talk to him on my behalf,” I said in jest.
“Well, Tamlin isn’t coming home tonight and he asked me to make sure you didn’t notice.”
I laughed, a sound reserved solely for him. For him and-
 “Rhys called,” Lucien said as he approached me, placing his hands on my shoulders. “It’s as if he knew, somehow, that tonight had been… trying.” 
“How? When?” 
“Just right after Tamlin hung up on me. Don’t worry, we were both careful.”
 I nodded, unable to fight the tears that stung my eyes. Lucien’s hands trailed down the sides of my arms until he held my hands. 
 “Soon,” he whispered. “I promise.”
He kissed away the tears, a gesture that reminded me so much of Rhys I wasted no time in guiding Lucien towards the bed. 
 “Come on. You have to make sure I don’t notice Tamlin isn’t home,” I teased.
“I can think of a few things,” Lucien said, pulling me into his arms. 
 ***
 One Year Ago 
 I hated closing the bar and having to walk home alone at night. Truth be told, it didn’t matter what time of day it was. This godforsaken town was a nightmare. It was full of naïve man children who liked to play at mafia, as if the great families of Prythian would resort to robbing old ladies in pure daylight, breaking into peoples’ cars and coming to the bar every night to get shit faced and talk about all the stupid things they did. But it was enough for me to keep a knife on me everywhere I went.
 I fumbled with the keys to the house, cursing the outside light that had blown out once again. I lived here long enough to know all that could go wrong in the dark. I reminded myself that I would get paid on Thursday and if I didn’t buy any coffee this week, I could get a new lightbulb and that set of paints I saw at the store. 
 All the lights were off save for the television my father was asleep in front of, his TV dinner mostly untouched. His medicine still where I’d left it before I went to work. A noise from upstairs made me roll my eyes- Elain probably had Grayson over which meant Nesta wasn’t home. With our shared bedroom occupied, I put my wallet and keys in the pantry closet, a habit I picked up after one of our dad’s friends went through my purse and helped himself to all he found. 
I shut off the tv and dropped myself unceremoniously on the sofa and closed my eyes… and was startled awake by someone banging on our front door. My dad was yelling for me to answer it and with a mumbled curse I got up. 
“I swear to god, Nesta-” I began but froze when I was met with green eyes, not icy blue. The man outside my door seemed surprised to see me as well but quickly scowled. Great. He practically shoved me aside as he stormed into my house, shouting my father’s name. 
“Hey, what the hell are you doing?” I snapped, following after him. I had to fight the urge to cry when my dad told me to shut up. 
 “I had another month,” my dad said to the man who had reached behind his back.
“A month for what?” I asked and my dad made to speak but the man stopped him.
“Your dad owes me money. Lots of it.”
“How?” I asked. “I’m responsible for everything here. And I don’t remember asking you for shit.”
 The man chuckled and I wanted to smack that smirk off his face. He was far too sure of himself to be another boy playing make believe. He dressed too fine to even be from this part of town.
 “When your father gambled everything away, how do you think he moved you all to this lovely little apartment?”
The tone in his voice made me look at my dad who was in tears. How long had he been doing this? I wanted to strangle him, I wanted to scream but then there was a gun pointed at his face and without thinking I was standing in front of it, arms outstretched. 
 “If you kill him, how are you getting your money back?”
“There are three of you. I’ll make it happen.”
 “Nesta would slit your throat first,” I said and he laughed. 
 “Feyre, you don’t know who you’re talking to,” my dad said but I paid him no mind.
 “Feisty, are we?” the man asked, as if my father weren’t even there.
 “How much?” I asked and he raised a brow. “How much does he owe you?” 
 He stepped forward, pressing the gun to my chest. 
“Far too much for a barmaid to pay back.”
“So let me work for you,” I blurted out. 
“What?” 
“I can’t pay you with the job I currently have. Let me work for you. Pay off his debts and I’ll make sure he never asks you for another goddamn thing.”
 “Feyre-” my father began but I turned to look at him.
 “You’ve done enough,” I said. “This is the last mess I clean up for you.”
When I turned back around, Elain and Grayson were standing at the foot of the stairs. She was crying and he had an arm around her. 
 “How can I trust you? You could all disappear in the night?” the man said, and I dared to put my hand over his.
 “My sisters are more important than saving my own skin,” I replied, even though I knew if roles were reversed, our father would be dead. My sisters would have run.
 No one would fight for me.
 “Then you’re coming with me,” he said.
 “Where?”
 “Where I can make sure you stay true to your word.”
 “You’ll leave my family alone?”
 “Yes.”
 “Fine.”
 When my sister began to protest, the man stepped back and I let out a sigh of relief. 
“Get your shit.” 
 Up in our room, Elain was begging me to reconsider, to let her go instead. I grabbed my bag and put my wallet and phone in and what little clothes I had. 
 “Nesta needs this,” I said as I walked to the dresser and pushed it back. I knelt down and lifted the wooden panel, retrieving the envelope full of money. “Give this to her. Don’t tell dad you have it.”
“Fey…”
“I’m doing exactly what I’ve been doing since mom died. Where I lay my head at night doesn’t change that.”
 I gave her a hug and hurried back downstairs to where the man waited. The gun was no longer in sight despite my father on the floor kneeling, begging. Grayson seemed to have left. 
“That’s it?” the man asked. 
 “That’s it.”
 I looked down at my dad and sighed.
“Clean up before Nesta gets here. She’s got exams this week and doesn’t need any more stress.”
The green eyed man opened the door and I followed him out. I said nothing as he led me away and towards a black car. When he opened the door for me, I didn’t move.
 “Having second thoughts?” he asked with a knowing smile.
“You seem to know every goddamn thing about us. I think I should know who you are before I get in the car… even if I’m going to end up in a ditch by the end of the night.”
 He laughed, running a hand through his long, blonde hair.
“Tamlin,” he said as he held out a hand. “Tamlin Moran.”
Moran… 
“You’re Wes Moran’s son.”
“So you do know me.”
I shook his hand, ignoring him. Tamlin helped me into his car and I wondered just how much shit I’d just put myself in. The Moran’s were one of the oldest, most powerful families in Prythian. And now I was working for them. 
60 notes · View notes
letstalksymphogear · 6 years ago
Text
Symphogear, EP. 6
Last Time on Grand Theft Auto:
Tsubasa recovers from the world’s gayest coma as Hibiki trains her mind while putting aside such silly concepts as “the love of my life” and “literally being with my girlfriend.” After cooling Miku’s paranoia with her brand new washboard abs, Genjuro prepares the team for a pizza run across the city to deliver a dangerously hot pizza pie named Durandal. Chaos emerges as the delivery is intercepted by a rival pizza gang, lead by the nefarious Gremlin known as Yukine Chris. But, before the pizza could be claimed, dedicated pizza deliverywoman Hibiki not only steals it back, but eats it, harnessing the power of the pizza and unleashing cheesy pasta based chaos around the location.
Ryoko is so into it that she taps into her superpowers and protects Hibiki after she passes out. The delivery is considered a failure, and no tip is given.
And so, the journey continues...
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Meanwhile, in this weird, tricked out mansion...
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Chris meditates on some water metaphors of her own.
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“that pacman colored freak took only touching it to activate a cheap ass french sword that gave her weird demon powers and its taken me YEARS to use this dumb stripper outfit and the funny cane that goes with it, what the FUCK man, what even is my life”
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“maybe... maybe honeybaked hams ARE that powerful...”
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“NO! turkey is the superior meat! it’s healthier, lower in fat, and way more tasty! fuck you! i’ll get my goddamned revenge!”
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Chris begins musing about Fine’s motivations to capture Hibiki; during these, we’re treated to some brief image flashbacks of Chris’s life.
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Suddenly, those jokes about food are a lot less funny.
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It doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together as to why this young woman is helping a strange nudist dominatrix spread alien terror across the city of mumblednoises, Japan. She doesn’t really have many an option on the table. It’s either help the weird kinkster with her plans, or die.
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Despite everything, she has a high opinion of Fine, for the same reasons someone might have a high opinion of a television show if it were the only show they were ever exposed to. She is deeply afraid of being alone again, because she has lived through such misery that the very thought of existing out in the cold again terrifies the shit out of her.
The Sun rises casually amidst Chris’s thoughts.
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“ah shit. it just hit me. i literally have spent the entire night standing here instead of actually going the fuck to sleep. goddamnit.”
On such a devious metaphorical twist, Fine stands behind her as the Sun rises.
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“yeah, jokes on you. i couldnt sleep for shit either. turns out, all nude, no blankets? in japan? real bad idea.”
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“thats why i decided to GO GOTH, babey! whattaya think? do i give those witchy vibes, huh? real ‘black magic woman’ santana hours? feeling cute, gonna head out with the girls and summon satan in the woods kinda aesthetic looking shit? come on, be real with me. does this not look baller?”
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“you look like morticia decided to go to the grocery store to buy some wonder bread, but other than that, its a step up from your usual pussy out attitude, so sure”
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“you know i decided to get some brain cells on loan from Brain Cells R Us, and ive been thinking this solomon cane stuff is solomon lame. i dont need this dumb oversized harry potter cosplay prop to get shit done. also, murder is... sorta bad? im still trying to get the brain cell stuff down.”
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“i can punch just as good as goody two shoes if not better.”
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“lol go do it then champ, im gonna go cut down a forest of trees now”
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And so, they both just kinda... stand there.
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“QUACK, NEXT SCENE, QUACK”
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Meanwhile, Tsubasa is rapidly trying to rehabilitate herself from her wounds like walking like a madman, her IV drip presumably filled with Taco Bell brand Doritos Locos Tacos super spicy nacho cheese. Taco Bell: Live Mas.
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“im gonna clear every fucking taco bell in your goddamned memory, kanade”
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“think outside the bun! wait, what? that was a taco bell slogan? ah fuck it, im dead. what nerd’s gonna try and correct me?”
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“i would, kanade. i am that nerd.”
Tsubasa is hell bent to try and understand Kanade’s simple philosophy of helping others selflessly. Unfortunately, when Kanade died, she took all the brain cells between them in the process, so coming to this epiphany is a work in progress.
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“listen its a fucking miracle you are 1. alive and 2. able to have your blood run on the garbage melted plastic taco bell tries to dupe people into believing is cheese so why dont you just lie down and think of better franchises to eat from”
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“no! you dont understand! taco bell is a franchise of the PEOPLE! their meals are cheap and filling and- and the chicken quesadillas are of good quality for their price! i promised kanade- my vow to the death. taco bell... ergh... now and forever... i-”
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“wait. my gay senses are tingling.”
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It’s Hibiki, probably running track with Miku.
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“oh yeah... her... i should probably apologize to her. about trying to kill her. and then letting her almost be kidnapped. and just giving her a general hard time about something that wasn’t explained to her in the slightest for months. she’s a good bean.”
Tsubasa proceeds to never canonically apologize to Hibiki throughout the entirety of all 4 seasons of Symphogear.
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Look at em run. See, it’s a metaphor, because they haven’t communicated yet and they’re running from their problems! But they’re running towards Tsubasa, who is part of the representative problem these two share! Clearly literary genius.
It’s like someone went halfway into writing an NTR plotline and went “maybe this isn’t a good idea to market our songs on.”
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Hibiki is still thinking about her Hellshake Yano moment with Durandal. Mainly how she nearly killed someone with it. Hibiki is very starkly in the “killing is bad, and wrong” camp of morality, a trait currently unique to her that she’ll wind up teaching literally everyone else she meets one way or another.
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Some could argue the L stands for Lydian, and they’re wrong. It stands for Lesbian.
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“that was one hell of a run, hibiki! im pooped! why dont we go to the locker room and call it a day, have a nice shower and just get some dinn-”
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“this is the last straw.
i clean your plates. i cook your food. we eat, shit, shower, and sleep in the same FUCKING area, and this is how you repay me? huh? you think being your wife is easy shit, hibiki? half the damn time you’re running off like clark kent having food poisoning and the other half ive gotta babysit you, the emotional equivalent of a preteen clown, to make sure your life doesn’t self destruct harder than Atlantis sinking into the ocean. im done! i am DONE. im reopening my tinder, im slamming my ass BACK into okcupid, and im gonna date some CUTE ACADEMY GIRLS that treat me BETTER than this ABSOLUTE BETRAYAL OF HEART AND IM NOT CRYING I SWEAR ITS JUST THE SWEAT IN MY EYES AND HIBIKI HOW COULD YOU-”
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“oh yeah, sure! hey, lemme just do a few more laps, ive just been feeling judgmental about myself and my figure, you know? gotta push myself further...”
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“o-oh yeah, sure. no worries, ill wait for you. love you too, hibiki...”
The girls bathe together, as good friends typically do.
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“hey you ever notice the showers here have like, weird psuedo-luxurious minipools to bathe in? like, how rich is this school?”
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“whoever made this place is either rich or a pervert. or both, probably!”
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Miku remarks that Hibiki has changed since she’s entered Lydian, in a manner most unheterosexual.
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“oh FUCK you really DO have washboard abs now! ohhh my god.”
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“damn, those abs were heavenly. let’s get pancakes later.”
I won’t screenshot it but something to note is that they actually wear each other’s corresponding underwear colors (or even, if you want to examine more closely, each other’s underwear). Here’s an equivalent scene to give you the mental image.
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This is the face of someone who knows what they want and already have it. Such is the power of Kohinata Miku.
Meanwhile, Genjuro comes back from the funeral of the guy the Americans filled violently and with impunity.
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“yo that all black look looks baller. i should borrow that look... id look pretty gothy in it.”
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“ryoko i sympathize with your sharp, fashionista eye but this was for a funeral, i was paying my respects to the dead. thats the usual dress code.”
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“didnt know they updated that. i remember back in my day, we just went in white garments and chanted in latin!”
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“shit was fire. literally. lots of funeral pyres.”
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“lmao ryoko buddy your larping sessions arent actual history”
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“hey dont shit on larping around me. i used to be a professional larper while i was majoring in acting. helped really sell my career when i had to pretend to slay the Dark Lord Jyarloen atop the mountain of skulls in Hargobor after my family was killed by the Dark Army. asshole.”
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“haha yeah, larping, thats cool yeah, i do that
i...
i larp.”
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“oh yeah? you wanna join my larping session sometime then? we’re gonna do an ancient babylon plot thats inspired by some anime, itll be fun”
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“.....................................im super into realism.”
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“i know im dressed for a funeral but id like to not part ways with my dignity yet. besides, we’ve got serious shit to talk about. basically, we’re on the verge of getting shitcanned.”
As it turns out, the death of this politician removed the last obstacle of opposition to maintain the 2nd Division, as the average criticism against the 2nd Division is “why are we funding this mystery division when we don’t know what they do”. Of course, the sensible idea for an organization that defeats the Noise is to declassify it, given people of different jobs and positions have physically seen the Symphogear in action, but you know. “Oh no, the other governments will come after us” stick gets shaken.
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“im in a union. i know my rights. you’re not taking my acting job here away from me.”
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“im not going back to be a preschool teacher. its been ten year. the bites on my ankles still havent healed...”
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“yeah man, shit sucks ass. i cant fund my adoption habits if im fired.”
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Look at these cinematic parallels. Symphogear truly is a franchise made by someone living in 3030.
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“worst part is the new minister is super into america. he’s a... westaboo.”
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“a westaboo?”
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“westaboo?”
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“did he just unironically say westaboo”
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“he said westaboo. oh my god. this is the hell timeline.”
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“i mean people kept calling me that for worshipping all these fighting flicks so i guess it fit? i dont see the problem here”
Meanwhile, in Lydian Academy...
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“so it hit me, right? we’re ALL girls. and we ALL sing. now, humor me a moment. what if... what if we’ve all been recruited to potentially be superheroes... through our singing? like, there’s no coincidence that all this shit happens around us, right? and a famous singer LIVES here? i saw the black cars outside! weird shit is happening here- im not even gonna eat the all you can eat bar anymore!”
“kathy there is literally no such thing as superheroes who sing. this place is more likely to be a organ harvesting op than whatever madness you’re saying”
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“what? you need me, a singing superhero, to go stop a problem happening underneath the school, a location meant to recruit young women into potentially becoming fellow crime fighting singers?”
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“yeah im too busy poppin’ caps in asses so go kick ass in my place”
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“sure!”
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“.....................................who ya talkin to, hibiki?”
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“the boss! gotta go do a thing again...”
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“hibiki, i dont like the fact that capitalism is tearing us apart.”
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“you’ve gotta join me in the revolution, hibiki. you. me. luxury automated gay space communism. aint it the dream? share my vision, hibiki. its glorious.”
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“n... no...? no gay space communism today? well, what about tomorrow? or the next day? or... maybe the next day? baby steps, you say? but, direction action, hibiki! we’ve gotta strike now!”
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“it’s okay hibiki. when i take over the world and destroy all first world government leaders, and unite the globe in my encompassing reign and love... ill make sure to spare you, and be my bride to be.”
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“thanks miku. im just not ready yet for the globe to burn in an unending ball of fire as the continents fuse into a new utopia composed of our combined wills. also, ive really gotta go, its genuinely an emergency.”
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“for the cause!”
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“yes hibiki... for the cause...”
Admittedly, you can see the stages of grief Miku goes through when she sees Hibiki say she can’t join her for pancakes. It’s sad. This side story sucks.
Meanwhile, as it turns out, the problem Hibiki needed to resolve was checking on Tsubasa to see if she hadn’t dissolved into Taco Bell brand hot n’ spicy Tabasco sauce.
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“god, cant believe taco bell was closed. now i gotta deliver these lame ass flowers”
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“cant wait to get threatened again. wonder what she’ll say. ‘hibiki, i should have killed you when i had the chance.’ or ‘you’re so goddamned weak. i could break your spine with my fingernail’, or some other stuff about metaphors. oh, my stops here”
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“HEY BITCH WHATS GOOD-”
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“HOLY SHIT”
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“you are already”
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“dead.”
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29 notes · View notes
myherodiehardfan · 5 years ago
Text
promts (i STOLE FROM ALL OVER THE PLACE)
- prompt list -
Prompt List #1 ♛ Imagines
“We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.”
“Please don’t cry. I can’t stand to see you cry”
“Stay with me”
“Walk out that door and we’re through”
“Well. Yell, scream, say something. Anything”
“I can’t breathe”
“I hate how much I love you”
“Why are you so jealous?”
“Where do you think you’re going”
“Just leave me alone”
“I need some time”
“Despite what you think, I am completely capable of taking care of myself”
“You can’t keep pretending it didn’t happen, cause guess what? It did!”
“Just please be my best friend right now, not the guy I just confessed my love to.”
“Stop pretending you’re okay, cause I know you’re not.”
“Just talk to me”
“Bite me”
“If you insist”
“I think I’m in love with you, and that scares the crap out of me”
“I think you’re just afraid to be happy”
“Why are you so nice to me”
“Choose me”
“We’ll get through this, I promise”
“You’re so fucking hot when you’re mad”
“You’re mine. I don’t share”
“Just shut up and kiss me.”
“If we get caught I’m blaming you”
“Make me”
“Do you want to kiss as bad as I do right now”
“I think I forgot how to breath”
“Stop biting that fucking lip!”
“You’re blushing”
“I missed something didn’t I?”
“You come to my room and wake me up at 4am, to cuddle?”
“Well this is awkward”
“Is that my shirt?”
“You look like you need a hug”
“I can’t believe you don’t like Disney movies”
“Please come home, I miss you”
“You’re so fucking adorable”
“How can you still look so attractive while crying.”
“I’m pregnant”
“You’re lucky you’re cute”
“Cuddle me.”
“Sometimes I really don’t like you”
“What if I told you I’ve been in love with you since we were kids.”
“You’re seriously like a man-child.”
“You’re getting crumbs all over my bed”
“Im too sober for this”
“Oh god, I need a drink”
Bad boy writing prompts (warning: mild sexual themes)
“He was sneak out the window past curfew kind of trouble, he was a motorbike ride cross-country kind of trouble, he was the kind of boy your daddy hated. But he was the only man that made you feel alive.” (Oh, Dabi, my dear, I’m looking at you.)
“‘A gentleman would offer me his seat’”    ‘Gentlemen are boring. But you’re free to sit on my lap.’ You narrowed your eyes. He slanted his head innocently, ‘Over my knees then’    ‘Charming, aren’t you’    ‘Only for you, baby’”
“You gawked. Did he seriously just offer ten million yen for your portrait? ‘You want me on your wall?’   ‘Actually, I want you in my bed but you seem to averse sex, so how about it?’”
“I love you more than I hate the rest of the world.”(Hm. A lot of the villains, but especially Shiggy and Overhaul.)
“I seem to have a nasty habit of driving people away.” (A lonesome MC/Reader or my darling Shinso, technically not a bad boy but can be applied hehe)
“Her body was his. His to ravish, to possess, to savor. But he was a selfish man and having just her skin wasn’t enough for him. He wanted more, always more. He desired her heart, her soul, her beautiful mind. Everything. He wanted her. And she will be his.” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) (This is as far I will go)
RANDOM SENTENCE STARTERS
SHORT
“Marry me.”
“Do you want me to leave?”
“You are not going without me.”
“I can’t believe you!”
“I swear it won’t happen again.”
“What did you say?”
“I’m not jealous.”
“You’re jealous, aren’t you?”
“We can’t keep doing this.”
“Are you sure this is legal?”
“Isn’t this amazing?”
“I’m going to take care of you, okay?”
“Stay the night. Please.”
“You can’t die. Please don’t die.”
“Run away with me.”
“You did WHAT?”
“Quit whining.”
“Get outta my sight!”
“Why are you so annoying?”
“Were you ever going to tell me?”
“Never in a million years.”
“Don’t ask me that…”
“I might have had a few shots.”
“What’s with the box?”
“W- What are you doing?”
“Say it!”
“I could kiss you right now!”
“Are you done with that?”
“What’s going on here?”
“Stop pinning this on me! You started it!”
“It’s your fault we’re in this mess.”
“Did you do this on purpose?!”
“Kiss me.”
“Are you still awake..?”
“Excuse you?”
“This is all your fault!”
“I can’t believe you dragged me into this.”
“Don’t give me that look! It wasn’t my fault!”
“I shouldn’t be in love with you!”
“It’s not fair!”
“I could kill you right now!”
“Knock it off!”
“Screw you!”
“You’re a complete moron!”
“I love this song!”
“I can’t be in love with you!”
“Make me.”
“Don’t tempt me.”
“I hate you.”
“You are infuriating!”
“Just shut up already.”
“That doesn’t even make sense.”
“Bite me.”
“Eat me.”
“Kiss my ass.”
“Just admit I’m right.”
“Just admit you’re wrong.”
“You are being ridiculous!”
“That’s irrational.”
“Listen to me!”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”
“Don’t yell at me.”
“That’s it. End of discussion.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“You shouldn’t have said that.”
“Fuck you!”
“Shut your mouth before I shut it for you.”
“How dare you?”
“I dare you!”
“It’s you, it’s always been you.”
“Well this is awkward…”
“Just pretend to be my date”.  
MISCELLANEOUS
“Are you really gonna leave without asking me the question you’ve been dying to ask me?”
“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.”
“I just did some calculations, and I’ve been able to determine that you’re full of shit.”
“You know what I like most about people? Pets.”
“Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they’d lock us up?”
“What about a compromise? I’ll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, I’ll apologize.”
“I don’t hate you.. I just don’t like that you exist.”
“Love is the jelly to sunshine’s peanut butter. And if I tell you that I’m in sandwich with you, I’m not just saying it to get in your Ziploc bag.”
“Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.”
“Did you really just insult Captain America in front of me?”
“Can I touch your boob?”
“It’s not that you’re wrong, exactly, you’re just extremely not right.”
“You shouldn’t be trusted with small children, should you?”
“Give me cake or give me death.”
“On a scale from, ’I can sometimes make important phone calls without crying’ to ’I have a stable job with a steady income, a spouse who loves me, a dog, and two kids who are screwed up minimally at worst’, how much of an adult are you?”
“You think I’m dumb enough to fall for that stupid move?”
“Despite the cliche, it’s not me, it’s you.”
“Obviously you can’t tell a woman you just met that you love her, but it sucks that you can’t.”
“No, it was my fault for thinking that you might care.”
“When you love someone, you just don’t stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Specially then!”
“If you’re not scared, then you’re not taking a chance. If you’re not taking a chance, then what the hell are we doing anyway?”
“I think I’ve been holding myself back from falling in love with you all over again.”
“What have I told you about the toilet seat?”
“I tried to change the duvet and I got stuck inside.”
“I vote today to be a pajama day.”
“You have to tell me why were committing a felony before we do it. Not that that’s going to stop us, but at least I’ll have all the facts.”
“I don’t leave messages. If I wanted to talk to a machine, I’d talk to my VCR.”
“I can be flexible. As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.”
“You know we’re suppose to be together. I knew it the first time I saw you, and you know it, too. I know you do.”
“Those things you said yesterday… Did you mean them?”
“I’m not going to apologise for this. Not anymore.”
“What I hear when I’m being yelled at is people caring loudly at me.”
“I am NOT crying, okay?! I’m allergic to jerks!”
“This would not happen if I had a penis!”
“That’s almost exactly the opposite of what I meant.”
“All nighter, you and me. First one to fall sleep buys the other dinner.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever played spin the bottle.”
“Sorry! I didn’t mean to touch your butt.”
“I’m ok, thank you. Just please, stop talking to me.”
“To the night you’ll never remember!”
“Excuse me, did the 12:15 bus come by already?”
“Could I sit here? All the other tables are full.”
“Are you meeting someone here? Because.. I think I’m that person.”
“You weren’t supposed to laugh! I’m so embarrassed!”
“It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.”
“Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his/her cake hole.”
“I’m not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren’t even hot.”
“You better take care of that car or I swear I’ll haunt your ass!”
“This is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.“
“It’s a real shame nobody asked for your opinion.”
“I could do that, but could doesn’t mean would.”
“You cannot fathom the immensity of the fucks I don’t give.”
“You’re like, five feet tall. How you gonna reach me, shortie?”
“I recognize that you have reached a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision I have elected to ignore it”
“Do you need me to kill someone for you?”
“Look out where you’re going, asshole!”
“Fuck the sandwich guy!”
“I did not mean for stripping to come out of this.”
“The whole street is blocked off. The police won’t tell us anything, but I think there’s been some kind of attack… Maybe a bomb?”
“Oh my god, are you okay? I’m calling the police. I think I saw who did this to you.”
“I’m weird, you’re weird, we could have weird little babies and live weirdly ever after if it wasn’t for the fact I find you repulsive.”
“There is nothing wrong with planning a wedding with a video game character.”
“I’m gonna lay down and die for like half hour okay?”  
“There’s been some real friction in our friend group lately. I suggest an orgy to save our friendships.”
“It’s midnight, what do you want?”
“I think I know how to use a bed.”
“If I wake up in the morning and I’m dead… Wait.”
“You are completely unfit to handle a child.”
“We have to get out of this place. It is EVIL.”
“Don’t you dare throw that snowba-, goddammit!”
“When in doubt curl into the fetal position and give up on life.”
“It’s not a double date, we’re just third and forth wheeling.”
PREGNANCY
“I have something to tell you…”
“I think I’m pregnant.”
“I’m pregnant!”
“When were you going to tell me that you’re pregnant?”
“You’re smart and successful with an adorable belly.”
“$50 bucks says it’s a girl/boy.”
“Pregnancy suits you…”
“Hello little one. We can’t wait to meet you…”
“I’ll just be in the bathroom throwing my fucking guts up because our unborn kid wants to be a dick!”
“There’s someone I’d like you to meet…”
“Shh… He/she’s sleeping..”
“I have a special surprise for you. Close your eyes and follow me.”
“No, no, no, no, no, we aren’t ready… We aren’t ready for kids yet!”
“Oh, gosh, I felt it! I felt a kick!”
FLUFF
“Your hair is so soft…”
“You’re so cute when you pout like that!”
“Just relax, I’ll wash your hair for you.”
“I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”
“What, does that feel good?”
“HA! I found a weak-spot on you, didn’t I?”
“Are you wearing my shirt?”
“You are ridiculously comfortable…”
“I’ve had a rough day and honestly all I want right now is a drink and someone to cuddle with…”
“You’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this…”
“You’re beautiful, you know that?”
“We should get a puppy!”
STARGAZING
“Aren’t they beautiful?”
“These stars are nothing compared to the ones I’ve seen in your eyes.”
“Shooting star, make a wish.”
“It’s actually a comet, but I’ll still make one.”
“Imagine if it could always be this way, even in the city.”
“Never thought something so beautiful could exist in nature…”
“Wouldn’t it be cool to name a star after yourself?”
“Y'know, your roof may not be the safest place for us to stargaze.”
“This is why you made me drive three hours out into the middle of nowhere?”
“Is that a– Wait, no, just an airplane.”
“I wouldn’t mind falling asleep out here.
FLIRTY/SUGGESTIVE/SEXUAL
“Did you just… finish?”
“They always make shower sex sound so appealing, but honestly, this is getting dangerous.”
“I’m not actually feeling anything.”
“Are you getting any closer?”
“Why do they make this look so easy in all those porn movies?! This hurts like fuck!”
“Did something just happen? You’re not turned on anymore.”
“Shit sorry, am I going too fast?”
“Wow, you’re hot.”
“Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”
“Hey, I’m open minded.”
“Keep sweet-talking and this could go a whole new direction.”
“I think it’s about time we stop avoiding the obvious.”
“I’m gonna be honest with you. I’m really horny, and you’re really hot. Can we fuck? Like, now?”
“I see someone’s happy to see me.”
“I saw that. You just checked me out.”
“You know, when this is over, we should really have angry sex.”
“Take off your clothes.”
“Tell all those other guys/girls you don’t need them ‘cause you got me.”
“Don’t give me that face, it’s so cute I might not be able to hold back.”
“Boobs are really just squishy pillows.”
“If you don’t get turned on by having your neck kissed somethings wrong with you.”
“Blasphemy! Sex solves everything.”
“I platonically want to have sex with you. No big deal.”
TEXTS
[text]: What do you want now?
[text]: Do you want to bet on that?
[text]: Guess who just got back in town.
[text]: So I might be in a hospital right now…
[text]: We can’t keep doing this anymore!
[text]: Come on, come to the party!
[text]: Can you pick me up from the bar? Too drunk to drive.
[text]: You have no clue how I feel so shut up.
[text]: I call bullshit.
[text]: You thought you could get away with that, didn’t you?
[text] I gave up great shower sex to be here so don’t say I never did anything for our friendship.
[text] Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
[text] Also, my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall.
[text] Who says no to sex and donuts?!
[text] I know what you did last summer…
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leelee10898 · 6 years ago
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A closer look: Alicia & Maxwell
This is from the cgw universe(Cordonians gone wild) a collaborative effort by @ao719 @speedyoperarascalparty @cocomaxley @riseandshinelittleblossom and myself. Catch up on our other crazy adventures here
We asked, you picked. Here is a closer look at Alicia and Maxwells friendship.
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Alicia stood in front of the massive Christmas tree in the foyer of the Palace surrounded by their friends. This was the first Christmas with the new king and Queen and with that came new traditions. Since deciding to stay in Cordonia, Anitah thought it would be a good idea for Alicia to get involved in a charity. Although no title, the buzz about the woman who did the unthinkable, and got the playboy prince to commit drew a lot of attention.  Alicia chose helpful hearts, an organization that helped families who struggled financially. Speaking to Anitah and liam she got permission to use the grand entryway tree as an angel tree. Liam and anitah hosted a Charity ball in honor of the organization and as also have each family in attendance chose a child from the tree, and provide presents.
“This was a huge success love.” She grinned as she felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her.  “I know, it's so great we have raised a lot of money. Did you pick a child from the tree?” she turned facing him. “I did. I almost had to fight lord Davis for one, he picked 6.” “Well, I'm glad people are embracing this. There will be a lot of happy children on Christmas morning.” Leo placed a soft kiss on her lips. “Speaking of Christmas gifts. You still have not given me any ideas my prince.”
Leo shook his head “That's because I've got all I need in my arms. As long as you're mine, that's all I need.” “Leo, im serious.” He smirked as he walked over to speak with Regina.
“This is so awesome Alicia.  I am excited to buy presents for these kids.” Maxwell grinned holding a handful of papers. “Maxwell, how many families did you pick?” Maxwell pursed his lips “ahhh 8.” He silently counted the slips in his hand. “Yup, 8.”
“Maxwell, that is just. Please don't ever change ok.” She pulled him into a hug. “Oh, thank you Alicia. I won't, don't worry.” She sank down into a nearby chair, letting out a sigh. “Whats wrong?” he asked. “It's just, Its Leo.” she sighed. “leo? What's wrong with Leo? I thought you guys were doing really good.” He sat, concerned. “Oh, we are. It's just. It's Christmas, our first Christmas together.  It's Also six months since we made things official. He is so amazing, and I just want to get him something really nice.” Maxwell grinned “oh. Your six monthaversary? That's awesome. Hey, how about if we go shopping together. We can shop for the kids, and i can help you find the perfect present for leo.” Alicia perked up “really Max? You would help me?” “Of course, Leo is my best bud.” “Oh thank you so much Maxwell, I can't wait.” She threw her arms around him squeezing him tight.  “It's going to be so much fun. It will also give us some time to get to know each other more.”
A few days later. The tinted SUV pulled up in front of the Ramsford estate. A ginning Maxwell came running out. “oooh I can't wait.” he squealed making Alicia giggle. “So I have narrowed it down to a few ideas. Do you think you could store a puppy for me until Christmas? Bertrand wont let me bring any more animals into the house.” He pouted. “oh, ah. I think they are looking for um, presents that are not alive.  Maybe a stuffed dog instead?” Maxwell made an o shape with his mouth “Good call. Ok then a huge stuffed dog then.” Alicia shook her head and smiled.
They pulled up to the mall and walked in. “So what do you think Leo would like?” Alicia asked Maxwell, who's eyes immediately found the toy store. “A motorcycle.” He grinned.  “He has 5. And I don't have motorcycle money.” she chuckled. “Well, i'm sure we will find something. Can't we, um.” Maxwells eyes kept darting towards the toy store. “Lets go.” she motioned towards the store. “ok, one little girl wants a Tiffany doll. But they are sold out everywhere.” Maxwell pouted. “well it doesn't hurt to look or ask.” Alicia walked up to a sale associate “Excuse me miss, I know this may be a long shot but do you happen to have any Tiffany dolls in stock?” The cashier sighed “we haven't been able to keep them in stock, but, we did just get a shipment in. Can you check back in about 2 hours? They are unloading the truck as we speak.” Alicia nodded and they left.
They headed into a leather store “Do you think Leo would like a new Leather Jacket? He always wears the same brown one.” Alicia asked. “Maybe, but what about these?” Maxwell held up a pair of leather riding gloves.  “Oh those are nice, they even customize them. I could have LJR put on them. ” Alicia admired the gloves. “Done, i'll handle the forms, you go look and see if anything else catches your eye.” Maxwell waved her off.
The next store they went into was a novelty store. Maxwell held up a blow up doll “Maybe he would like one of these, this one looks like you. He could snuggle it whenever you arent home. Or is it a pool float?” Alicia's eyes went wide. “Ahh max, i um, that's not. You know what, were just gonna put that back.” He shrugged walking away. As Alicia browsed she noticed Maxwell pulling out his phone, smiling at the screen and then shoving it back into his pocket. Maxwell put a few things into her basket, insisting Leo would love them. They checked out, and again Maxwell was on his phone Texting.
They walked around the mall stopping at a few kiosk in the center. “Leo is lucky to have you, he seems like the perfect guy.” Maxwell grinned. “He is great. But he has flaws too Max. We all do.” “Maverick? No way, I don't believe it. Like what then.”
Alicia shook her head “Trust me, he does. Like hes a stress farter.” Maxwell stopped immediately “A what?” “He farts, when He's stressed out. The only thing that helps it is Sex.” Maxwell's eyes went wide. “No way!” “I swear to god. He has such a high sex drive as it is, why do you think we have so much sex?” Alicia giggled. “I just thought you two couldn't keep your hands off each other.”He shrugged. “Well we can't but, that's one of the reasons. God please don't tell anyone,  he would kill me.” maxwell held up his hand “Beaumont promise.”
“so why do you call him Maverick?” they continued walking. “Oh um. When we were younger Leo and Bertrand were really into top gun. They let Liam and i watch it with them once. And Maverick was so cool with his leather Jacket and aviators. Just like Leo. So that's what I started calling him.”
“wait a minute,  are you saying Leo wore a leather jacket even back then?” Maxwell shook his head “Yup. Leo was the definition of cool. Everyone wanted to be him, and all the girls wanted him. And even with the attention and popularity he always made time for me. He was like the cool older brother Bertrand never was.” “Awe Max. That is so sweet, and so cheesy. Now I know why Leo has such a big head.” she laughed. Maxwell pulled out his phone again, typing and smiling before putting it back.
They sat down to get some lunch in the food court. “This is great. Bertrand never lets me eat food court food. I love cheese burgers and fries.” He said with a smile. “Maxwell, who have you been texting?” She eyed him as he typed again. “Oh um. Well.” he rubbed the back of his neck. “You remember Drakes cousin Stephanie?” Alicia nodded “The cute little redhead that you couldn't take your eyes off of all night?” she grinned. “Yeah, well we um, we have been talking for a while.” he took a huge bite out of his burger. “oh, that is so cute Maxwell. So, you like her?” she pushed. “Yeah, she's  great. But she's in Texas, and well i'm here.” He frowned. “Do you think she likes you too?” maxwell contemplated her words for a minute “yeah.. i think so. But, like I Said, the distance thing.” Alicia flashed him a smirk “if its love, it'll find a way.” Maxwell grinned “You know, you can tell you and Leo are together.”
“Why do you say that?” “Because you just gave me the same smirk he gives.” Alicia's hand slapped her forehead shit.
It was finally time to head back to the toy store. They walked in finding the same clerk they spoke to earlier. “Oh thank god, I was able to hold one, but they didn't last a minute.” she held up the box. Suddenly a woman came from out of nowhere snatching the doll from the clerks hands. “Thanks.” she grinned beginning to walk away. “HEY.” Maxwell hollerd, the woman rolled her eyes. “No the fuck she didn't. Maxwell, wait here.” Alicia took off towards the woman. “Excuse me.” She called out trying to get the woman's attention “EXCUSE ME.” the woman turned around. “That doll is my friends.” the woman rolled her eyes again. “Well, i'm the one who has it, so looks like its mine.” she smirked. “Yes because you snatched it out of the the clerks hands, now I'd like the back please.”
“You snooze you lose, im keeping it.” The woman turned around to leave,  Alicia grabbed her arm “Maybe you didn't hear me the first time, give me the doll back.”
“I heard you, I'm not giving it to you. Get your hand off me you trashy bitch.” Alicia's eyes went wide. “Oh no you didn't. I tried to be nice, I tried to do this the civil way but..” Alicia started taking off her earrings. “Look here bitch, you got 2 options. 1, you give me the doll back and be on your way. Or 2, I whoop your fucking ass and take the doll back. Your choice.” she jumped shaking her head and arms. “Think fast, because where i'm from we don't give much time to think”
The woman stammered “I'll call security.”
“Go ahead, I promise you nothing will happen to me. But I'll still enjoy beating your ass.”
“wait a minute, you're. You're that American, the one Prince Leo is dating.”
“You know, you can never really be sure. Tick tock lady.”
“You're crazy. Here, take it.” She tossed the doll at Alicia and hurried out of the store.
Alicia returned to Maxwell and handed him the doll. “That was, awesome Tiger Lily.”
“Tiger lily?”
“Yeah, I like flowers. Your feisty so, its fitting.”
Alicia shrugged her shoulders “Sounds good to me. Now let's get these presents for the kids.”
Maxwell and Alicia made their way back to the leather store to pick up the gloves. Alicia ran to get them smoothies while maxwell ran in to get the gloves. He approached Alicia a large grin on his face. “they turn out good?” she asked taking a seat on the bench. Maxwell nodded his head “Yup, take a look.” He opened the box, Alicia's eyes went wide, she spilt her drink out and coughed.  “Ma. Maxwell. Why. Why do they say Big Daddy on them? I told you to put Leos initials.” she wiped her mouth. “I thought this would be nicer, I heard you call him that a few times.” her face reddened at the realization Maxwell had definitely heard them having sex a time or two. “Oh god. Um thanks Maxwell, im ah, sure Leos going to get a kick out of these.”
After dropping Maxwell off Alicia returned to the Palace. She entered her and Leos Quarters and attempted to hide his presents. She left the bags for the adopt a family on the bed. “Hey baby, how was shopping with Max today?”  “Oh it was, eventful, but fun.” She stuffed the last bag into the closet. “This all the stuff for the kids.” Leo began looking in the bags. “Ah yup, I just need to take it with me tomorrow.”
“What's this?” Leo picked up a box that was under one of the bags. “The leather shop?” he started to open the box “no leo don't.” She dove for the box but it was to late.  “Oh, leather riding gloves these are Ni-” He stopped mid sentence, that sly smirk spread across his face. “Big daddy?” Alicia's face reddened “I told Maxwell to have them put your initials, but um, he thought my nickname for you was a nice touch.” “But that's not your nickname for, oooooh.” the realization set in Leo started to chuckle “Apparently we are um, a bit loud when we have sex.” Alicia giggled.
A few days later Alicia, Anitah and Genevieve met up for lunch. Pam had plans extra appointments, so she said she would see them later at her house. “How was shopping with Maxwell?” Genevieve asked. “oh it was good,  lots of fun.” Alicia picked up a breadstick. “oh she had fun alright. She almost got into a rumble with some lady over a doll.” Anitah giggled. “A fight? Oh I wish I was there.” Gen grinned. “It was for the children.” she tossed the breadstick at Anitah. “Maxwell is a really sweet,  kind and caring guy. Anitah you know first hand how above and beyond he goes for his friends.” Anitah nodded in agreement. “I learned that our Maxwell has a crush. And I have an idea.” The girls both grinned and scooted forward. “Ok, how about…."
Read what the squad did for Maxwell HERE
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bruhnushka · 6 years ago
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perfect storm [pt 2] (ruby martinez x reader x cesar diaz)
PART 1 | PART 2 | 
request : n/a
summary : a little more is revealed to you about the current situations of the gang.
warnings : flirting, cussing, violence
pronouns : she/her
tag list: @shippingfangurl (comment to be added)
a/n : as u know I’m bad w deadlines so pleaseasdfsdfhdskjH DONT BULLY ME INTO WRITING IT FASTER  P L E A S E  remember last time??? I literally stopped writing in general for like a year. 
ruby darted his eyes across the room to the door to make sure it was shut completely. you rolled your eyes.
“what, is there a gang war happening?” you joked. you sat up and leaned in with a serious tone, “wait is there a gang war, because I swear to god Spooky got me fucked up if Cesars in it like a bitch is about to throw some motherfuckin hands-” 
“what? no” ruby scrunched his nose. “you're tripping. like mad tripping. theres just some tension between our gang. I was tryna inform you on it before you accidentally initiated an ACTUAL war.” he emphasized the actual with a large hand gesture which smacked you in the boob. “oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck, I'm sorry shit don't kill me fuck”.
you burst out laughing while holding your boobs from bouncing everywhere, and looked up at Ruby with tears in your eyes. “I'm fucking- ruby, are you still a virgin?” you got out through short chuckles.
“I am a man of god- and I will save myself for marriage!” he huffed. “and you? still a pure dove amongst a sky full of crows?” 
“first of all ruby- what the FUCK are you talking about. also, you really thought that by now id still be a virgin? you're the one mad tripping. have you seen my banging body??” you joked, and both you and ruby were laughing. Cesar peeked in through a small crack in the door and Ruby saw him, immediately throwing a pillow at him and shrieking his name.
“IM GOING IM LEAVING GOD!” Cesar groaned, the door shutting on his finger by just a centimeter. 
“ok- so heres the tea.” “spill.”  “so monse went to some summer camp for like writing and shit right? so after she leaves, Cesar pulls some wack ass shit and says that he banged her right before she left, but we later find out that he only said that to claim her, which he did ONLY to protect her from Spooky.” 
“are you sure it was only?” 
“what” “what if they're like... a thing”
“no. impossible. they would Never. theyd tell me first. its like major betrayal.”
“sure... but I'm not buying it. they seem to be a little too close to be just friends...” “but they've always been like that??” ruby started to panic.
“my point exactly” you looked at ruby. you both stared at each other for a solid ten seconds then suddenly could not stop laughing. 
“SHUSH!! WHATS ALL THAT BULLA???” you heard Mrs. Martinez yell, and you both quieted down. 
“anyways... thats all there is to it. any further complication arise, feel free to contact me at THIS number exactly” he proceeds to write his phone number, which you already had, on your arm.  “thanks I guess?” you chuckle, and hug Ruby tight, making sure to make him ever so slightly uncomfortable with your boobs. He clears his throat then scuttles away making you laugh softly. Then Cesar appears. He closes the door behind you and makes eye contact with a serious expression.  “we need to talk about-” “id rather not.” you cut him off. you didn't want to remember those events. you knew he'd continue to pry so you had to think quick. “I uh- I have a boyfriend” 
Cesar quirked a brow and looked at you. “lil y/n/n? a boyfriend huh?” he laughed. 
“don't look at me like that. I've dated more guys than you think.” you say, “and more girls than you will ever”. Cesar jokingly frowns, but then it quickly deepens into a real one. 
“so... who is this mystery man?” he asks, leaning against the doorframe, trying to appear nonchalant at the new information. 
“right now, were keeping it on the down low, you feel? trying to stop any drama from happening.” 
“uh-uh” “don't act all sarcastic. its not like you and monse are any different.” you shoot back, earning a panicked expression. 
“how did you-does ruby? I mean, thats crazy, we would never-” “cut the crap Cesar, its so fucking obvious. And no, Ruby doesn't know, nor does Jamal, but again, its so fucking obvious. Its bound to happen” “can you promise me that you won't tell anyone. look- it won't do our friend group any good ok? Please, just give me and monse some time to figure things out.” he says, looking at you with eyes full of worry.  “ok, ok fine. as long as we don't talk about what happened and you don't ask questions about my boyfriend.” “why are both yall so secretive anyways...”  “uhh...” shit, you thought, come up with something fast, “he's from a rival gang down by the bay. if anyone found out, it could be bad news for me and him. He isn't allowed to date or even touch anyone in another gang, and since I've already been jumped in for the Santos-” “you what? when? why did Spooky never tell me this?” “He didn't want you to worry I guess. Last summer.” 
“no. not during- was that what it was?” “yeah, I guess they took it lighter on me since im a girl. it was either get jumped in or do some strip dance on Spooky, to which even he freakin objected. so I decided to just get jumped in you know?” 
“holy shit” “yeah. so shut your mouth and leave me alone to talk with my boyfriend.” you laugh, and walked out the door, taking a deep breath in. you opened you phone, went to favorites, and pressed call. 
the line rung for a while. 
“hey y/n, whats up?” “hey babe- I need a favor. promise you won't freak the fuck out!” 
“uhhhh... ok sure.” “I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend”
TO BE CONTINUED!!!
we love drama don't we sisters!!! anyways its the usual, comment to be tagged in upcoming chapter, and don't forget to like and reblog, you know a bitch loves that attention.
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tumblunni · 6 years ago
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What do you guys think about the names Dustin and Darcy for my protagonists in Let's Go?
Cos i really wanted to play the co op mode thing by myself, just so i can pretend this role in the plot is filled by two siblings and have a bit of fun roleplaying that. But i dunno yet how the co-op works and whether you'd be able to customize the avatar of the second player or if its just the default trainer? Or can you only play co-op if you have two separate games? Im planning to buy the other version anyway once i get more money, so it could be fun to play my first version with sibling one and then the second playthru is sibling two's turn to shine!
Oh and the whole reason i wanted to do this is cos i wanna try out the customization features to make some ocs now that there's no competitive online stuff unless you pay a subscription fee (LOL NO THANKS). Like..i always felt like i HAD to make my character me in xy/sumo/usum, otherwise its like lying online? But of course i cant actually make me because theres no nonbinary option or even remotely ambiguous outfits for either gender. And you cant have wild hair colours while i dye my hair 24/7 irl lol. Its silly cos like 95% of the gym leaders and other characters ingame have anime hair colours yet the player has to be normal? So yeah i cpuldnt really enjoy making this innacurate defanged version of myself yet i didnt feel like i was allowed to just make up a new character either. Closest i could do was give myself white hair like my old trainersona when i was 12, lol. I mean i guess thats my 'real hair colour' underneath the dye right now, if you think about it that way?
OH GOD PIKACHU CAN HAVE A LITTLE TUXEDO AND BOWLER HAT HOLY FUCK IM SORRY TO INTERRUPT THIS BUT I WAS WATCHING THE IGN REVIEW AND THEY SHOWED PIKA BOWLER HAT PLEASE GO GOOGLE THAT VIDEO JUST FOR THAT 1 SECOND OF NEW FOOTAGE OF MY BEAUTIFUL CLASSY BOYE
okay where was i
Yeah! I think sibling trainers could be a good and unique way to handle a rival! Like having them be your sibling already establishes that rivalry. But it can be a soft and nice rivalry! I wanna go with that fun version rather than the full on angry exaggerated sibling rivalries you often see in kids media. Like i know that some people legit dont get on with their siblings and some people can even have a very gary esque full on rivalry thats sorta 'love to hate' or like..tsundere pretending you hate them. But personally i never had experience with that, i can never relate to those 'tfw u hate ur sibling and theyre always an asshole but lolll u love them anyway' posts. I only got to live with my little sister for a little while due to the catastrophe of abusive parenthood that was my childhood, and i lost contact with her forever when she was very young so i doubt she'd even remember me. *sigh* But like i don't think i only love her so much because i miss her! People say newborns and toddlers are the most bratty so like you'd think if i was gonna ever find her 'annoying' i would have done it back then. I was always just mega proud of her and whenever she'd be 'bratty' i'd be cheering her on and trying to protect her from mom. And when she'd try and pull pranks on me or practise play-fighting or whatever i was just like 'lol thats legit funny' and taking play-falls so she felt better about herself. Like we didnt have much power in that household so i felt like encouraging her pretending to be a wrestler would help her feel like she had some sort of control in some part of her life i guess? And just i wished i was allowed to roughhouse and run around and be all 'unladylike' and just enjoy BEING A KID when i was a kid, yknow? I always had legit fun being with her and legit enjoyed it and was legit proud and legit never annoyed. I just dont understand 'yeah she's annoying but i love her anyway'. I was only ever her rival as a play-rival to help encourage her to like.. Enjoy the things she enjoyed. Feel like someone else cared. I only ever acted like 'ha ha baby stuff yeah sure i hate hanging out with my sister" cos i thought i was SUPPOSED TO. I always felt so guilty doing it and so dissappointed cos id rather hang out with her than be a boring stereotypical teen tbh. I dunno, maybe this isnt typical for siblings and its just a sign of how badly we were raised? I was just real fuckin lonely and absolutely loved having a family member who loved me for the first time since my grandma died. Same reason i always used to act all 'i am too cool i totally am not soft for my lil sister' around my lil sister's dad. I really wanted him to love me too! I used to say swear words at him cos i thougjt he would thibk i was Cool And Adult?? I have soooo many cringe moments from that phase of my childhood. Man it hurts to think that i never actually did get to become that positive influence that protected my sister from my mum and let her know she was loved. Cos i was sent to live with my dad when she was like 5ish? And never saw her again and now im too scared to try and reach out to her again because 1: she probably doesnt even remember me, 2: theres a chance she believes my mum saying i was some horrible asshole who abandoned the family, 3: even bigger chance that contacting her could mean my mum finding me again and big fuckin risk of further abuse. Plus the awkwardness of introducing my trans self when she'd remember me as her sister and all. Sigh! All i can do is hope that her cool dad eventually got custody of her, and that he didnt turn out to be a secret bastard like when i met my own dad. He seemed good, but then again i was just a lil kid and my dad seemed good at first. Sighhhhhh...
SO UMM YEAH WOW I MADE MYSELF SAD
Anyway the point is that whenever i write siblings i'd rather write 100% unapologetic super loving love cos its wish fullfillment for me. This is also why in/cest shipping is a massive beserk button for me, good wholesome family relationships are REAL FUCKIN IMPORTANT and how DARE you corrupt that shit! Some people would fuckin KILL to have that wholesome family!!
Anyway lol thats why i'd like a Wholesome Rivalry for these sibling ocs! Like they challenge each other to contests along the way just for fun, and they react all 'wow my sis is the BEST' when you beat them, so hard feelings at all. And you dont JUST do rival stuff but also sometimes just hang out and have fun cos you missed each other. And if anyone threatens your sibling then THAT is the only time you see the Serious Sibling Power! Rival moments: ha ha lol bet ya cant beat me ooo im a scary villain LOL I CANT KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE HAHA! Giovanni punches your brother: *stony cold death glare from hell as tricksy prank sis turns into an unstoppable vengeance engine* Oh, but also the only other time they'd be serious is in their final battle together! Like most of the 'rivalry' is just competing to make the adventure fun and to help each other get stronger. But if sis/bro ever actually legit said they really want to fight to find out who's the best, and its like..important to help their self confidence, then i think bro/sis would respect that and go all out. Taking a fall and letting them win would be the most disrespectful thing of all! Oh, but i do think there would be one kind of battle like that during the story? Like in one of the more low stakes faux-rival fights the sibling actually does try and let you win, and the challenge is to try and lose against all odds. High stakes super failure battle!!! Imagine the evil team in the background like 'wtf' as these two run the most aggressively slow race of all time! XD
Oh and i kinda thought about different personalities for the two of them based on who you pick? Like i did like that aspect about brendan/may in RSE compared to other 'unpicked option becomes rival' characters in later games that didnt even have one personality let alone two. It just sucks that the personalities they decided to give them were 'female rival is super self concious and thinks youre better than her because youre a boy' and 'male rival is super ego and thinks he's better than you because he's a boy'. Boooo!
So instead of that the personalities i was thinking for these two would be less sexist lol. Male sibling Dustin is basically Wally so far? I need to develop him a bit more to make him a bit distinct, i mean its not like every single shy dude is identical. I'm thinking maybe mix him with all the wasted potential in Brendan? Like in the game they slightly hint at him having the ONE non stereotypical trait of liking cute teddy bears, and that made me think about how much better his whole plot would have been if it actually criticized his sexism and said that he only behaves that way cos he's overcompensating for being bullied for being 'feminine', yknow? And then in the manga they actually DO write him as super feminine, and even as a contest star who loves fashion and dressing up his pokemon! But then GAHHH they present it as some sort of fuckin 'character flaw', like he's shown to be selfish and superficial because of it. And the backstory is that him and the female protagonist used to be 'normal' until a traumatic event. Brendan was a Natural Fighting Prodigy until he saved his female friend from a wild pokemon and was so traumatized that he never wanted to fight again, while she wanted to learn to fight so she'd never need to be protected again. But this is not only presented as Wrong Ways To Be Gender but also like.. Fighting their natural instinct which still comes through?? Like male protag hasnt fought in YEARS yet whenever he's forced to fight he's just magically better at it than female protag who's been practising all these years to become his equal. Ha ha silly girl you can never achieve that! All you get is this patronizing 'well if you just tryyyyy girly things im sure you'll like it' plot and then you get rescued by him in the end because OF COURSE you do. Sigh! I cant believe they made me hate that pairing even more than the games did! So yeah i dont really wanna write Dustin as a jerkass who's secretly got synpathetic motives of internalized homophobia/sexism, cos i feel thats a plot very specific to my perceptuons of Brendan and id basically just have to make Dustin a clone of him and he wouldnt be able to shine on his own merits. Instead i'm just thinking of writing him as a 100% sensitive soul, and he still faces predjudice for not being that bigoted idea of an 'ideal man' but really the fact he doesnt bow down to their demands proves that he's the bravest person here.
And then I'm thinking maybe the female sibling Darcy is the older one and is a bit "gary ish"? Like eitjer way you still have a friendly and loving siblingness, but she's a bit more of a sass who is tsundere about admitting she loves her bro. But i dont think she's the cold or grumpy sort of tsundere, more like a trickstery tomboy? Bombastic loki jock sis! She can only be a bit abrasive with her bro cos she wants to teach him to be tough even when she's not there to protect him. But sometimes she can mess it up and make him feel like he has to change his personality in order to be tough, rather than letting him know she supports him in being "unmasculine" and just wants to help him find the confidence to stand up to people who bully him for it. Like she feels like she is 'weaker' than him in the sense that she worries too much about what people will think if she expresses her real emotions, yknow? Like theyre both suffering from toxic masculinity! He's suffering from the standard form where men who are too 'soft' are beaten down into that mould. Ans she's suffering from the problem where 'masculine' girls feel like they have to be '100% masculine' in order to be allowed to be themselves at all. Like back when i was a kid and before i came out as trans i always used to try and pretend to like sports ans like..cliche macho shit where you Cant Admit You Care About Your Friends and also i wasnt allowed to like ANY feminine things at all. I had to either follow the stereotype of femininity entirely or follow the opposite stereotype, i wasnt allowed to just reject stereotypes and like what i actually like. So yeah me realizing i wasnt really a girl has led to me embracing more 'girly' things than back when i thought i was one! So i think Darcy would have a similar arc but like..the cis equivelant? Just finds people who arent such judgmental pricks and stops having to conform to either of those stereotypes in order to keep fake friends who dont really give a shit about her. She can have a plot about both forced feminine and masculine stereotypes being equally limiting, rather than that shitty 'being masculine is a prison uwu every woman will be happier embracing her love of makeup' shit. That dominant narrative just made me feel like i was somehow wrong about myself whenever i didnt like 100% Of Sports All The Time, i must be somehow girly if i liked even ONE girly thing yet i needed hundreds of proofs if i wanted to be masculine. And like i wasnt just allowed to be neither! I wasnt allowed to like parts of both! I wasnt allowed to BE GODDAMN TRANS!!! So yeah i dunno if i'd go whole hog and make this character a trans man or a nonbinary person tho? I think she's just actually a cis girl who happens to be sporty and brash and likes a lot of 'masculine' fashion and hobbies. And she's just been made to feel self concious about it, as if she cant possibly REALLY be that unless she likes Every Single Boy Thing and wins at Every Single Challenge. Does anyone else remember that shit too? The girls have to win Every sports game against the boys in order to be 'one of the boys' but if you lose even one of them it somehow proves that you're inferior. Even though the boys lost 50 billion games to you and that doesnt prove theyre inferior! Like man she has sooooo many 'gary rivals' in her school life, thats why she loves going on this adventure with a kind brother rival who actually respects her! So her resolution would just be her staying the same but being more confident about it and saying fuk u to those fake friends. Same as her brother's plot, just they both face different specifics to the way this sexism affects them, yknow?
Oh but yeah when i did finally learn about LGBT stuff and realize i was trans it was Big Amazing cos even in the rare stories about Its Okay To Be Yourself it still left me feeling weirdly empty when the girl decides that yes she does wanna be a girl in the end. So i get that these plots might come off as queerbaiting if i write them badly? I need to make sure to make it clear that these characters 100% want to be seen as this gender and its just other people being fuckfaces and trying to define what their gender has to mean. I think maybe i'll try and mitigate this potential misunderstanding by adding different sorts of lgbt content. And, well, also cos i just want lgbt content in all of my stories because i am lgbt, of course! I'm 100% sure that Darcy is gay, and i think also maybe possibly Dustin is trans? Like, his plot is about being mocked for being a 'feminine' boy, but its also even more personal for him because he's a trans boy and he feels like he needs to change his personality in order to pass/he isnt really real because his personality doesnt fit the stereotypical image of a man. Like if you'd looked at the two of them back when they were identical twins, you probably would have expected Darcy to end up being trans if you were the sort of person who believes those basic ass stereotypes about 'boys who play with barbies and girls who play with trucks'. Or i mean maybe its the other way around and Darcy is a trans girl who still has a 'masculine' personality according to stereotypes? Or even both of them are trans and both face being told that they arent real because they dont fit the perfect stereotype of a trans person according to cis perceptions? Or maybe i'm overcomplicating things with all of this and it'd just muddy the message i guess. I might just keep it to them both being cis but also both of them like girls. And i can always apply my trans and other LGBT headcanons to other characters along their adventure.
Anyway LOL im rambling too much!
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creaturebloom · 6 years ago
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this is a 65 question ask meme and im the bitch that’s filling it all out at once to waste time
1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? oh yeah definitely, but it’s usually the other way around where everyone else is real and i am not
2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? idk like a 2.5 i guess
3. The person you would never want to meet? i mean. i don’t know ??? how can i know who i don’t want to meet until i have met them and decided they’re the worst
4. What is your favorite word? akimbo
5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? i would WANT to be a weeping willow, but in all honesty i’d probably be a birch or some type of maple
6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? i honestly cannot recall
7. What shirt are you wearing? a grey pajama shirt
8. What do you label yourself as? the skeleton god
9. Bright room or dark room? i mean if we’re talking the absolute brightest room vs the absolute darkest, i suppose i would pick brightest.
10. What were you doing at midnight last night? for once i was actually asleep
11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? god probably like 8 years old was good
12. Who told you they loved you last? my dad
13. Your worst enemy? it me
14. What is your current desktop picture? it’s a landscape in the style of like miyazaki movie backgrounds
15. Do you like someone? romantically ? no
16. The last song you listened to? poison vine - noah gundersen
17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? just like physically destroy one person ???? idk man. like the consequences of this would probably be too far reaching for me to even fathom. do i get caught ?? does it spark paranoia worldwide ? a string of copy-cat murders ? could i live with myself knowing i killed a human being ?
18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? nazis
19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? idk like. the idea of a slave that has to do stuff for me for a day is kind of wild. if i can like, make a billionaire my slave and then force them to redistribute their wealth then i’d do that
20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) my bones !! i can’t show them to you though, not yet
21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? i guess the opposite of nonbinary is SUPER binary so i’d be like half man half woman and i’d look exactly like a halloween costume
22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? no, all of my talents are pretty out in the open
23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? one unique thing ??? i don’t think anyone really has unique fears. if you dig deep enough they all sort of boil down to the same few things in the end. i guess the most strange fear i have is that spiders will be in my slippers, and so i do not own or wear slippers.
24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. oh shit ok. idk all the ingredients but one time i ate a vegetarian bahn mi in chicago and it was like the most heavenly sandwich i’ve ever had. i want that again. endlessly.
25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? honestly at this very moment in time i would buy groceries, and also maybe a pad of watercolor paper
26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? oof, leave immediately ??? that limits my choices bc i don’t have a passport. i guess i’d go to like. god idk oregon ? colorado ??? the pacific northwest somewhere.
27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? wait what am i supposed to figure out if i don’t drink booze ??? like if my plan was to sell it, i’d have to get a liquor license, and that’s a can of worms i don’t care to open. i think i would ask the angel if instead i can get a lifetime supply of, like, that good bahn mi sandwich i was talking about a few questions up.
28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? no nerds allowed
29. What is your favorite expletive? i’m pretty partial to fuck, but honesly yikes is what i say most often even though that’s not a swear word. petition to make yikes a swear word.
30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? hey so one time there was actually the threat of a fire in my house and despite all these questions no one does anything like that. i put on my shoes, grabbed my phone, sunglasses and water bottle because they were all immediately available as i was exiting the house. so as much as i’d love to grab my box of treasures and keepsakes, i absolutely would not and i know this about myself now.
31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? yikes. i can see the appeal of this for a lot of people, but for myself it’s just uhhh not feasible. i’d always wonder what i erased, and at some point i would uncover the truth. i wouldn’t like to live with that kind of mystery going on.
32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! oh thank god. i’m moving to a colder climate with universal healthcare.
33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? okay i would strike a deal here and let’s say i can bring back two pets instead of one person and in this case i would bring back rusty (family golden retriever), and also kohji (brother’s shepherd mix). i’d like to say i’d bring back my cat, but i have two cats now and i know my brother would really like his dog back.
34. What was your last dream about? i don’t really remember, tbh. i’ve been having a lot of weird dreams tho
35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? yes i am a VERY good [something]
36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? yes ! it was terrifying and i’d never like to do it again thanks
37. Have you ever built a snowman? no, somehow this was never presented to me as an option any time i’ve been around snow
38. What is the color of your socks? buddy i’ve not worn socks in months. but also generally they are striped with various colors.
39. What type of music do you like? gay stuff
40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? sunrises
41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? chocolate
42. What football team do you support? oh i sure don’t
43. Do you have any scars? yes, many
44. What do you want to be when you graduate? considering that i am no longer in school, the answer is that i want to do whatever i feel like doing at any given moment
45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? i suppose i’d cure my mental illness (which i’m working on, so, this will happen)
46. Are you reliable? oh, no. no thanks. i absolutely am but i hate feeling obligated so i always choose to not put myself in situations where someone needs to rely on me for anything
47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? i guess i’d ask if they’re happy
48. Do you hold grudges? i mean. i don’t forget things ........ but i am capable of forgiving people
49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? nope ! i’ve seen movies, i know what horror that can cause
50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? one time my sister and i were talking to our aunt, and we could not for the life of us figure out if she was trying to GIVE or SELL us some rabbit fur coats she had ......... it’s been over a decade and we still do not know which it was
51. Are you a good liar? yes
52. How long could you go without talking? several million years
53. What has been you worst haircut/style? sorry my hair is indestructible and because of the natural texture it looks great no matter what. i’m blessed and i know it.
54. Have you ever baked your own cake? what kind of person doesn’t bake their own cake ????? rich people i guess
55. Can you do any accents other than your own? yes ! but not very well
56. What do you like on your toast? butter, and occasionally cinnamon sugar
57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? some cool clouds
58. What would be you dream car? a honda prelude with the pop-up lights
59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. i do sing in the shower sometimes, but not loudly
60. Do you believe in aliens? absolutely
61. Do you often read your horoscope? almost every day, but i do my full birth-chart horoscope so that it’s accurate, and not like horoscopes from the newspaper
62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? n
63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? i mean are they not the same thing. tell me a dinosaur and a dragon are not basically the same things.
64. What do you think about babies? yeah they’re alright. i never want to be in charge of one but i’m alright with them
65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of. i guess the most interesting thing i can think to ask myself is which tarot decks i have, and i will tell you. i have the prisma visions tarot (which is amazing), and also the shadowscapes deck (beautiful!), and also a deck of runes that i made myself with a sharpie on a pack of pepsi branded playing cards
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